Next time I am throwing a bucket of water.

I don't like to be a bitching-whine-moaner, but there is just this one thing.

To all of those singing, screaming, shouting, crying, puking, wanting-to-punch-someone's-face-in, angry, really angry, wanting-to-kill-someone angry,   drumming(?), window-smashing, music-blasting, gang-warfaring, and generally conversational drunks that stop outside my window, I have just one quick question:

Why every night? Why every single night? Can we not come to some kind of agreement where once a week you all stay in and watch a DVD? Maybe that is asking too much. How about once a month?

And what is it about my window, per say, that is so attractive? I surmise it is the streetlight; great for rocking, swinging on and puking under. And the fact that there is a pub across the street.

It may come as a shock, but people live in those funny box things lining the street, and at 1 am, at 2, at 3 and at 4, those people are trying (and failing) to sleep.

Why is it that when the police come (sadly rarely) to pull you guys apart, that they manage to speak below the audible level, but you continue to scream as if you are being burned alive?

And finally, to the lady who was so off her face that she thought someone had stolen her baby:

I understand your distress, but was there really a need to stand in the middle of the road for half an hour screaming and screaming and falling over? As my irate neighbour rightly pointed out, we are all very sorry to hear about your predicament, but there is nothing we can do about the baby thieves, the best thing is to go to the police, or home to phone social services? The baby thieves are most certainly not in the middle of the road. 

And p.s. for someone so concerned about their child, you didn't seem to be able to remember it's age, which seemed to range from 3 to 6 months throughout your tirade. [As it turned out, the baby was safe at home with granny, and some sane person recognised the woman and took her home].

Sorry for the bitchin'. As I say every year:

We really should move.