Friday, 29 August 2008

That's ROYAL Leamington Spa to you, what-what.

Interesting facts about Royal Leamington Spa: (this being the little town in the English midlands where I presently reside)

1) Leamington Spa is the birthplace of the antichrist.

 Well, it's true. Aleister Crowley, the self styled "Beast" was born here. Apparently his evilness and reputation as "the wickedest man in the world" is somewhat exaggerated. He was a member of the occult group "The Golden Dawn" and came up with all sorts of theologies and magicks of his own, but to me he sound more of your renaissance man, a general all rounder, in every sense (quite an experimental guy! You shall have to read of his exploits here). He named his first daughter Nicole Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith Crowley. Indeed.

That fact is interesting enough for a town as small as this but I shall continue:

2) This place used to be a rocking spa town, popular with royalty and the upper echelons of society. Sadly these glory days are gone and the only foreigners to come here are students going to Warwick University. And those who are lost while trying to find Stratford upon Avon, where the Bard was born.

3) The band Nizlopi who sang that JCB song come from here. Bit of a one hit wonder though.

4) This town is about as far away from the sea as it is possible to be in this country. The nearest sea is nearly 4 hours away in good traffic. This sucks big time. I love the sea.

That my friends is about it for this quaint little town. Like I said before, it is really rather beautiful in parts, however, I live in the ghettos with the various mafias and generally dodgy types. As I have been told by colleagues, if you are South African, you are dodgy by definition. 

Regarding poo, nothing has changed, this is still the most poo town I have ever seen. Someone's dog had diarrhea all over the pavements the other day, and although I was literally retching at the sight, my eyes for some reason would not stop staring. Hate that. 

And as to the dodgy neighbour, he is in jail AGAIN and as we speak his family is ripping the flat apart and renovating it to be sold. So no more screaming and smashing windows at 3am and no more mysterious bikes appearing from nowhere. IT's the end of an era.


Anonymous said...

It was also the place where grass court tennis was invented ^.- and its home to alot of dickheads

po said...

WAs it really? The tennis I mean? wow. cool.