Logically this post should be written on the 31st of December, but since I am starting a new job next week, which is a whole new beginning, it felt right to write it now.
2008 has been a pile of poo year for me. It was a year of nothing happening at all except crappy stuff that seemed beyond my control.
But it has been a learning year for me too. I have had some epiphanies. And almost all of these epiphanies have come through writing this blog, or reading other people's blogs.
Sadly my epiphanies are the kinds of things most people probably realise in their teens, but I have been a late starter my whole life.
For the first time it hit me that I am responsible for my own happiness. That happiness is a choice, and my actions and decisions are always chosen, never inevitable. That essentially we are in control of our lives and our choices direct us into good or bad situations. And that most of what happened this year is probably a result of my lack of involvement in life, my bad choices, my negative attitude and my inability to take control.
It has dawned on me that even those things which I thought were beyond my control, like my operation from hell, and my visa refusal, can at least partly be attributed to my attitude and way of dealing with things.
I have come to realise all this. I have not yet figured out how to do anything about it. So it is all in my mind but I have not taken any action yet. Except writing this blog. I think through this blog I have moulded a slightly different reality, a more positive and upbeat one than is my own, and through it I find myself being more positive than I ever thought possible.
But despite all this revelation I still wish 2008 would die in a fire (although preferably not in my house via a loaf of whole-wheat bread). I would like to wipe 2008 off the face of the earth. I want no trace of its measly existence to grace our archives, the world wide web, or our memories. ALL GONE. Die you fucker.
And I plan to achieve this by cunning means of a large explosion. I am a scientist, I know my chemicals. Well...I know lots of smart people who know their chemicals.
2008 has been a pile of poo year for me. It was a year of nothing happening at all except crappy stuff that seemed beyond my control.
But it has been a learning year for me too. I have had some epiphanies. And almost all of these epiphanies have come through writing this blog, or reading other people's blogs.
Sadly my epiphanies are the kinds of things most people probably realise in their teens, but I have been a late starter my whole life.
For the first time it hit me that I am responsible for my own happiness. That happiness is a choice, and my actions and decisions are always chosen, never inevitable. That essentially we are in control of our lives and our choices direct us into good or bad situations. And that most of what happened this year is probably a result of my lack of involvement in life, my bad choices, my negative attitude and my inability to take control.
It has dawned on me that even those things which I thought were beyond my control, like my operation from hell, and my visa refusal, can at least partly be attributed to my attitude and way of dealing with things.
I have come to realise all this. I have not yet figured out how to do anything about it. So it is all in my mind but I have not taken any action yet. Except writing this blog. I think through this blog I have moulded a slightly different reality, a more positive and upbeat one than is my own, and through it I find myself being more positive than I ever thought possible.
But despite all this revelation I still wish 2008 would die in a fire (although preferably not in my house via a loaf of whole-wheat bread). I would like to wipe 2008 off the face of the earth. I want no trace of its measly existence to grace our archives, the world wide web, or our memories. ALL GONE. Die you fucker.
And I plan to achieve this by cunning means of a large explosion. I am a scientist, I know my chemicals. Well...I know lots of smart people who know their chemicals.
BOOM, baby.
Sorrys to you if you had a good year. It has to go. Just one of those things.
Sorrys to you if you had a good year. It has to go. Just one of those things.
***
Hang on. If I destroy 2008, then this blog goes with it. What would the world be without this blog? A sorry, grey place indeed. A place with fewer displays of flagrant idiocy, but a lesser place nevertheless.
2008, you have just been thrown a lifeline.
But 2009, please note, if you pull any of the shit 2008 pulled, you are going down so deep that only the Aussies will find you.
22 comments:
Oh - even in your depression you still make me laugh!
Atta girl - attitude is 99% of the battle won!
I had almost that exact same epiphany and outlook at the end of least year - which was the hardest year of my life.
Some people never understand that we ultimately have some say in our destinies... so you're pretty advanced to reach that conclusion.
I am also over 2008, it's time for a brand new year to wash away all the bad vibes of this year.
I am so with you on this. This year was the most depressing and hardest year of my life - but it did teach me a few things too.
So blow it up and I hope you get to kick 2009 in the bum right from the beginning and enjoy it :)
BTW, I've written a post to answer you query about how the heck did I manage to burn.. er... um... cabbage?!
ladyfi: the depression is over actually... mostly!
Rox: really? It is quite a tough lesson to learn, much easier to blame other stuff right?
Goblin: you too? Ag please let 2009 improve, 2007 wasn't that great either.
Just love this line, too good!
"2008, you have just been thrown a lifeline.
But 2009, please note, if you pull any of the shit 2008 pulled, you are going down so deep that only the Aussies will find you."
It's much easier to blame other stuff because that way we don't have to take any responsibility, we can blame it on the universe.
I still blame a lot on the universe, only difference is that now I try to do whatever I can to keep my zen levels up as well. That's what I call balance!
Sunrise: hehe, that's pretty deep right?
Rox: my biggest problem is, its all very well realising this stuff, but I dont have any plan of action to actually DO anything about it.
Inertia is one of my biggest faults
heh. i love your last paragraph.
i'll back you up on that okay?
Down to China Town, baby!
Shebee: yep, down to China town like a stale hash brown. There is only one problem. Will we be receiving the butt ends of their crap years?
Oh no Dear Po! You are too hard on yourself and there is one month left - it might just turn out fantastically! You never know...
DT: you are right, there is one monthe left.
But I tend to think in terms of years, and as a whole, this one was a write off.
Po.....I never thought a scientist could be so Sexy.
I absolutely LOVE your writing. You're the Coolest.
Aw shucks moe, thats sweet :)
Moe has obviously never met me.
6000: or me. or me.
This year has been hard
But it taught me some great lessons
that if remembered and the principles applied correctly in 2009
will make 2009 a year to remember
Hopefully that will happen for both of us miss definitely maybe!
Argh... Just wrote a whole long comment saying how awesome your writing is and I think Blogger has erased it. So, the short version:
Your writing is awesome.
you are seriously one of the funniest bloggers I have ever read!
Bummer about 2008 though. maybe you just need to metaphorically blow it up. like, take a photo or gather together a bunch of things that represent some of 2008 (definitely not the blog) apply petrol and or some other clever gadget Brainiac or Myth Buster style, and blow the shit out of it.
tamara: how weird that it was deleted. Thank you
Dash, thanks so much, I really appreciate it.
PS Dash: you are an Aussie, hope you arent offended if I bury 2009 so deep that it pops out on your continent :)
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