I have had this post lurking around in unedited form in drafts for ages, and somehow this week I managed to post it by mistake, and wouldn't even have realised it except that sleepyjane commented on it! Yay for sleepyjane! And yay for comment moderation, see, it is useful sometimes.
So here is the ubiquitous searches post. People out there in the world asked google for help, but google has a twisted sense of humour and sent some of them to me instead. I get loads of searches for monkeys, sea monkeys, and hamsters for some reason. The post with the most hits by far has been my miserable rant about Schengen visas, which I wouldn't prescribe as recommended reading to anyone. It was full of bitterness, bile and confusion. And man it felt good to write.
Here are some of the queries for agony auntie Po:
1) African tickling - I didn't realise there was an African way of tickling. We used lion's tails, don't you?
2) la cucaracha gymnastics - This I would pay to see.
3) african huge butt - Cliche. Next.
4) please state your business- As I have said before: "there's no business like Po business" because Po has no business.
5) Hamster panicking in cage- ah shame. Take your cat out of the cage and everything will be fine.
6) Jacob Zuma poem- Why, why would I waste the time? Ok fine I will waste the time.
Ode to Jacob Zuma: How do I love thee?
let me count the ways.
A limerick: There was once a wise man called Zuma
Whose shower had powerful vooma
All the newspapers said
He was naughty in bed
But it turned out to be a rumour.
7) how many hamsters in 2010?- you know, that is a good question. One that plagues me frequently. I have no clue. 42?
8) wild sea monkeys - Kinky? I am quite wild but only on Saturdays at 3.15pm
9) sea monkey has my money- Give me one more week! I swear I will get it, just don't kill my hydrangeas!
10) africa monkey crisis- There is?
11) filthy nasty home pictures- yes, yes, finally! A naughty one. I thought I wasn't worthy of a naughty one!
12) whack the monkey with your hand - ok that is too naughty even for me. No kinky monkey business on this blog.