Friday, 31 October 2008

Search me.

I have had this post lurking around in unedited form in drafts for ages, and somehow this week I managed to post it by mistake, and wouldn't even have realised it except that sleepyjane commented on it! Yay for sleepyjane! And yay for comment moderation, see, it is useful sometimes.

So here is the ubiquitous searches post. People out there in the world asked google for help, but google has a twisted sense of humour and sent some of them to me instead.  I get loads of searches for monkeys, sea monkeys, and hamsters for some reason. The post with the most hits by far has been my miserable rant about Schengen visas, which I wouldn't prescribe as recommended reading to anyone. It was full of bitterness, bile and confusion. And man it felt good to write.

Here are some of the queries for agony auntie Po:

1) African tickling - I didn't realise there was an African way of tickling. We used lion's tails, don't you?

2) la cucaracha gymnastics - This I would pay to see.

3) african huge butt -  Cliche. Next.

4) please state your business- As I have said before: "there's no business like Po business" because Po has no business.

5) Hamster panicking in cage- ah shame. Take your cat out of the cage and everything will be fine.

6) Jacob Zuma poem- Why, why would I waste the time? Ok fine I will waste the time. 

Ode to Jacob Zuma:   How do I love thee?
                                    let me count the ways.

A limerick:  There was once a wise man called Zuma
           Whose shower had powerful vooma
        All the newspapers said
                  He was naughty in bed
                  But it turned out to be a rumour.
7) how many hamsters in 2010?- you know, that is a good question. One that plagues me frequently. I have no clue. 42?

 8) wild sea monkeys - Kinky? I am quite wild but only on Saturdays at 3.15pm

9) sea monkey has my money- Give me one more week! I swear I will get it, just don't kill my hydrangeas!

10) africa monkey crisis- There is?

11)  filthy nasty home pictures- yes, yes, finally! A naughty one. I thought I wasn't worthy of a naughty one!

12) whack the monkey with your hand - ok that is too naughty even for me. No kinky monkey business on this blog.


Anonymous said...

"13)whack the monkey with your hand" <-Seriously? The hamster one is also pretty ridiculous!

po said...

Whoops, Sleepy jane I seem to have published this by mistake!!!

I had it in my drafts. What the hell?

Rox said...

Hahaha, classic!

I have no idea how to find out which search terms get people to my blog, but I bet they wouldn't come close to being as awesome as your search terms, hehe.

Anonymous said...

Yep - those search terms are whacky. I did a similar post recently.. and then my husband wrote: quirky disconnected phallus into Google, clicked I feel lucky -and came straight to me.

What the Hell!! I love the one about the hamster though - pure genius, pure whacky!

po said...

rox: if you want to participate in such amusing stalker activity you can sign onto sitemeter, or get that feedjit widget. They both tell you how people found you.

Ladyfi your post is what prompted me to finish this one! that and accidental publishing of course

po said...

Good grief it seems i am going to be out all day again. You would think I was getting a life of something. Never fear I will be doing what i do best, reading your blogs, this evening!

Miss T said...

Love to add that :)

Dash said...

42, classic

po said...

Miss T: it is a huge time waster that is for sure.

Dash: do you think I am right?

Kitty Cat said...

Got a little something for you at my blog. :)

Dash said...

of course you are right, 42 is always the answer. But what was the REAL question?

po said...

dash: gosh good question. The real question is: what happened to all the other hamsters?

Dash said...

the mice scared them away.

po said...

Oh yeah, the mice who pretend to be lab mice but really have control over us all?

Tamara said...

Heahehahgfjr6ehahAh! (that was my crazy laugh. The one where you're frantically trying to stifle inappropriate guffaws in the office while everyone is looking at you like you're a wild sea monkey hamster counter).

po said...

Tamara: are you? I love your laugh, pretty impressive how it has numbers and everything!