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Thursday, 2 October 2008

What's your novel idea?


Listen people I want to write a book.

I am not cut out to be a Nobel-prize winning scientist, that is for certain. And ever since I was small I thought it would be awesome to write a novel. I must add that this is because I loved to read. I did not do much writing when I was small. Or now. Why do readers think they can write?

I don't want to write a bestseller, what I want is one of those books that everybody says is brilliant but nobody reads, one that will win loads of literary awards but make me no money whatsoever. One of those books that is boring and unintelligible but is somehow good nevertheless. I will die poor but famous and that is fine with me. Kids will study me at school and curse me forever more. Awesome.

Anyway. I know how to write. I know WORDS. I know vaguely how to use them. But I have a mind as blank as a very blank mind. I got no ideas. 

So dear internet, please help me. Give me your best book ideas in the comments section and I will apply WORDS to them and we can be tortured artists together. If I use your idea I will be sure to dedicate the front page to you. I would say I will give you money but my book won't make any so that would be a lie. I will send you fresh brownies. They may not be fresh when they arrive. Life's a bitch sometimes. 

Post your brilliant ideas below. Help a girl realise her dream of being a one hit starving literary wonder. Please?

30 comments:

Tamara said...

You could write about those rocks, seeing they seem to turn you on.

po said...

Hmm, yes but will others think it is brilliant? Are YOU interested in rocks? I guess a talented writer can make rocks interesting.

Being Brazen said...

Oh thats my dream too....totally.

SO i cant give you ideas - i neeed them all for myself.

;)

po said...

Ah, BB, but there is no I in team. Two heads are better than one.

After all the cliches I just wrote I think I am doomed.

Ches said...

PO....write a book on 'How to Survive as a Sea Monkey'

po said...

Ches I am liking that one. It's a tough life out there as fish food and pets for small children.

Ches said...

And worrying you could get flushed down the toilet while you're sleeping...

po said...

Waah! I never thought of that! Now I have severe seamonkey anxiety about being flushed away.

Being Brazen said...

Heehee -Possible book titles:
The tragic life of the flushed sea monkey by Po

Or - Surviving the flush - by Po

:)

Miss T said...

You can do a "history of my blog and short collection of posts"

Then you can copy and past e most it :)

6000 said...

Lumps of driftwood, washed ashore on a Rhode Island beach suddenly come to life and eat local puppies.

And... it's all yours from there.

po said...

BB: Surviving the flush! That is brilliant! You see, with your ideas and my flushing experiences we shall go far.

Miss T: But I want to write a novel. But truth is stranger than fiction!

po said...

6000: You are the winner! That is the one for me. Brownies are on the way. And a piece of driftwood...

The Divine Miss M said...

Write an erotic novel.

po said...

Miss M: would love to be able to but I am not sure I have the imagination for it. I think kitty cat would do well at that!

Rox said...

Don't forget the dassies, and their tassies and klippies!

All I know how to write is horror, and I've been working on mine for a while now - but I'm aiming more for instant bestseller / huge riches type of thing. Starving writer no more!

po said...

Hmm, driftwood on Rhode island, eating puppies. Along comes a shipful of dassies with their klippiesto save the day? The plot is developing...

Wow, horror, that sounds intriguing.

Rox said...

Not half as interesting as yours is turning out to be, haha.

My horror is about a hotel, and a baddy slash anti-hero who loses the plot and goes on a rampage. I'm on chapter 4 and no-one has died yet, so reckon I need to get some action in soon.

po said...

Is the anti hero a dassie? Just kidding, it is so cool that you are actually writing a book, it really is my dream to do it one day.

Moe Wanchuk said...

How about the life of a Man....who still wishes he was in college...who shaves his head...who works out incessantly, yet never looks any better...and blogs with a bunch of ladies?...and call it..

The Life of Moe

You could make it genius like, yet it be totally uninteresting.

po said...

Moe, this is excellent material, but in order to make it genius yet totally uninteresting I have to ask, are you a genius? I know you happen to be very interesting, so we shall have to lie about that, but the genius part?

Kitty Cat said...

Oh,I love this post, 'cos I think like so many bloggers, I too want to write that damn bestseller...except I want mine to be read by millions the world over!

po said...

kitty cat, you can do it, your talent shines through in your blog!

Kitty Cat said...

Aw shucks, you're too kind Po, but thanks so much, you have no idea how much I treasure compliments like that. I store them up and think of them when I need a lift!
The same goes for your writing, hell,I don't see why you don't pursue your poetry.

po said...

Thanks kitty cat, we shall see :)

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I'm writing a novel at the moment. I literally sat down at my laptop and started writing!! I have a spider chart and an idea of characters and building them!
Good Luck...what would you like to write about? What genre would you like to write in?

po said...

Blondie really?! So many people out there seem to be actually doing it! I think I must get off my butt and get into action.

Anonymous said...

Hey B! there's so much rubbish that you could write about...come on, you have it all around you...you have met and spend (and still you do) so much time with crazy-weird-loco people (beside your self of course) that you can write thounds of memoirs and manuals of how to deal (or just how to leave us alone) with society-emotional cripples and other rejected defected non-members of what people define as "normal" (we are all weirds-different-special anyway-whatever you wanna call it-;it just the majority prefers to lie about it in order to be accepted bewteen the other liars). Some titles ideas: "The memoirs of a llama-lover"..."Me, myself and Paul", "My left "shaky-rubbish-lefty-son of the devil" left hand", "Un-safety manual for un-safety handling of hazardous chemicals and crazy-chinchileans dictators in a lunatic asylum/microbiology lab", etc etc etc.

po said...

Aaaah! It's the Chinchilla! My favourite Chilean person (the only one I know too, how strange).

I like "me, myself and paul", and the llama one. But are these subjects really the type to make me a tortured artist? They sound more like bestsellers to me.

As for chilean dictators, there is a lot of material there, I may just go for that one.

ladyfi said...

You could write about a cute South American llama-loving little person with paranoia and one bad eye.