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Thursday, 30 October 2008

Having a ball in Debbin.


I was perusing the archives of the hilarious 6000 miles from civilisation a while ago. I am not a stalker, I am merely broadening my horizons by learning about life in a far off and exotic city containing zebras which I know very little about. I only lived there 5 years after all. To be Capetonian you definitely have to be born there. It is one of those things. And I came across a post mentioning that Debbin, my dear armpit of a home town (it was always rather warm and moist) was named after bulls' bollocks.

This sparked off a memory which I have decided to share, because I do love to reminisce. About testicles.

It is entirely true about the balls. I know this because at the tender age of 10 we were given a history research project. We had to write about "the History of Durban". 

I set out into the school library and took up the first book I could find about Durban. It was an ancient tome, with a worn cover and mouldy pages. This book informed me that Durban was named eThekwini by the Zulu people because the harbour looked like bulls' testicles. 

I faithfully wrote down that fact, not feeling the need, in my cherubim state, to find out what the word "testicle" actually meant. I had no clue. It sounded impressive.

I have since found out that this was NOT the way to go about doing a school research project. It turns out you are supposed to get your parents to buy you World Book Encyclopaedia, and then get them to erm, help you with your project. Sigh, If only I had known. 

Anyway, I got back the project, with excellent results and a message from the teacher: "Po, do you know what the word testicle means?"

I did not and and asked my mom, who laughed and then went dark red. My mom is very shy. I learned about the birds and the hornets from Cosmopolitan. That magazine is an education.

Finally she told me. I was pretty embarrassed about writing a naughty word in my history project, but it turned out my teacher loved it because all of the other projects were word for word the same blurb out of World book. Score!

So my message to you is, if you want to succeed in life, slip in the word testicle now and then, and you will have a ball. If you don't, then everything will go balls-up. Come on, do it, grow some balls. Be on the ball. Play ball with me here. Get the ball rolling. 

Bollocks. I am shutting up now. I am not nuts.

22 comments:

Being Brazen said...

HA HA HA HA

sleepyjane said...

OHMYGOD. That was hysterical.

Kitty Cat said...

That was excellent! Very entertaining! You could write for magazines Po! The only disturbing thing is that I love 'Debbin' - it's my place, man!

Ches said...

So my message to you is, if you want to succeed in life, slip in the word testicle now and then, and you will have a ball. If you don't, then everything will go balls-up. Come on, do it, grow some balls. Be on the ball. Play ball with me here. Get the ball rolling.
Bollocks. I am shutting up now. I am not nuts.


Ha ha ha...nice play on words there Po, or play on ball?

Tamara said...

Seriously?! That's so funny! I think they dropped the ball with that one. Narf narf narf...

6000 said...

Thanks for the props.

Indeed - how amusing is it that Durbs is actually named after a load of balls? I wonder what other cities have hidden meanings behind their names?

[suggestions deleted in sympathy with Jonathan and Russell.]

Rox said...

Hehehehe, brilliant.

po said...

being brazen: strange but true hey

sleepyjane: I think so now but I was quite embarrased at the time

kittycat: I love it too. And I love the name eThekwini. I cant believe that some people find it embarrassing and want to change it to kwaKhangela. That name has history!

ches: oh dear, I am horribly corny aren't I, my mom would be proud. Her favourite joke is a cricket one : when Alan Donald was playing she thought it was hilarious when Donald went for a duck. Groan.

Tamara: nice one, I didnt think of balls dropping.

6000: I think it is cool but that is just me. These namechanges are bullshit. I much prefer bullballs myself.

Dash said...

well done po!...i want to make a funny play on words using 'budgies' but i just can't do it in my state of mind at the moment....

sass said...

ha ha! that was so funny you had me rolled up in a sac and ba(w)ling with laughter!

LadyFi said...

What a load of bo**ocks! I think you should start writing tourist brochures for Durban: Come to our beautiful bay- it's shaped like a testicle, but oh, so much more fun!

Arkwife said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Very ballsy post :-) (I couldn't resist)

po said...

rox: thanks. I feel that the crazy things in my childhood make good post material!

dash: freaking hell. Budgie is a tough one. I chose an easy one, there are millions of ball sayings. I am sure i barely penetrated the surface. snigger.

sass: you are killing me here! Hilarious!

ladyfi: heehee, yeah, Durban is virile and full of potential for life, and...zinc?

arkwife: nice one, nice one!

Sass said...

I can't believe you wrote something like this today. You should read my post, as we both had some semantic confusion as children. ;)

I am absolutely nutty over your posts. I'll be...(I'm grasping here)...singing your praises at the ball tonight?

Wow. Don't visualize that. Please.

po said...

sass: heehee there really are endless variations on this ball theme aren't there?

I read your post. Great minds think alike?

po said...

6000: I really am slow as regards to your subtle references. I guess I am about as subtle as a bulls testicles, hey? I am sad about all that. I am sure they were naughty but I thought Mr Ross was genius.

6000 said...

It was very childish and rather unkind.

But it was kind of funny.

I bet that of the 27,000 who complained, about 3 of them have actually heard it.

10 days on from the broadcast, 1,700 complaints (Mon). Tues was up to 10,000 complaints and by end of yesterday 27,000. Bandwagon jumpers.

po said...

I haven't heard it. I searched the web for info but I guess I am a bit slow and all. They deserved to be punished, but I loved watching Jonathan's interviews, he had talent.

SheBee said...

I live in good old Dirtbin and didnt know this shiz.

po said...

shebee: important info. Shebee, don't you have a view of the harbour from your office? You should give it an eyeball and see if the ball shape is intact!

Moe Wanchuk said...

I have 2 of them.....and i think they're starting to turn blue. :)

I love your blog!..it's so fun and unique!

po said...

Moe: interesting, blue bulls is the name of a rugby team over in South AFrica. I think it should be named blue balls!