Jeebus creebus my blogability has dried up. I have nothing. Nothing at all. I am scraping the barrel here.
I feel that if I stop I will never start again so I am going to keep writing, no matter how crap and arb, and hope that this blankness passes. I have had the most hecticest week. Maybe it is that. I have little white strips swimming in front of my eyes.
So bear with me, like the most bearable bear you can think of. Winnie the pooh. He was quite bearable.
Do you have a place, be it a tree, a lake, a river, a park, a library, where you go when you feel sad, or happy or thoughtful or need to be alone?
I used to. My place was the sea. Any sea, but Cape Town beaches in particular. Whenever I felt I needed some quiet time and some recharging, I would catch a taxi to Camps Bay or Clifton and be near the sea. I love the sound, the power; and swimming in the waves is one of the most therapeutic things I know. Well, if you are swimming in Cape Town invigorating might be a better word; fuckingfreezing is another one. The icebergs tend to knock you out too. The Durban ocean is better for swimming in, perhaps.
I always feel like my soul has been boosted when I am near the sea. I need one of those boosts right now. Unfortunately I live about as far away from the sea as you can get in the UK. I go about 4 times a year if I am lucky. And waves are thin on the ground.
I am scheming this weekend to buy a sun lamp and a CD with wave and whale sounds and shit, and pay someone to walk up and down outside my flat shouting "Iiiiiice crrrrreams, grrrrrenadilllllla lollllies, coca cola". No need to simulate the icebergs though. There are plenty of those in the canal down the road.
I have posted this poem before, but I love it, so here it is again. I feel like this quite often lately
the sea is so heavy inside us
and i won’t sleep tonight.
i have buckets of memory in a jar
that i keep for days and nights like these.
© 2000, Mxolisi Nyezwa
From: Song Trials
Publisher: University of Natal Press (Gecko Poetry), South Africa
ISBN: 0 86980 9768