Friday, 23 January 2009

I sea.

Jeebus creebus my blogability has dried up. I have nothing. Nothing at all. I am scraping the barrel here.

I feel that if I stop I will never start again so I am going to keep writing, no matter how crap and arb, and hope that this blankness passes. I have had the most hecticest week. Maybe it is that. I have little white strips swimming in front of my eyes.

So bear with me, like the most bearable bear you can think of. Winnie the pooh. He was quite bearable.

Do you have a place, be it a tree, a lake, a river, a park, a library, where you go when you feel sad, or happy or thoughtful or need to be alone?

I used to. My place was the sea. Any sea, but Cape Town beaches in particular. Whenever I felt I needed some quiet time and some recharging, I would catch a taxi to Camps Bay or Clifton and be near the sea. I love the sound, the power; and swimming in the waves is one of the most therapeutic things I know. Well, if you are swimming in Cape Town invigorating might be a better word; fuckingfreezing is another one. The icebergs tend to knock you out too. The Durban ocean is better for swimming in, perhaps. 

I always feel like my soul has been boosted when I am near the sea. I need one of those boosts right now. Unfortunately I live about as far away from the sea as you can get in the UK.  I go about 4 times a year if I am lucky. And waves are thin on the ground. 

I am scheming this weekend to buy a sun lamp and a CD with wave  and whale sounds and shit, and pay someone to walk up and down outside my flat shouting "Iiiiiice crrrrreams, grrrrrenadilllllla lollllies, coca cola". No need to simulate the icebergs though. There are plenty of those in the canal down the road.

I have posted this poem before, but I love it, so here it is again. I feel like this quite often lately


the sea is so heavy inside us
and i won’t sleep tonight.
i have buckets of memory in a jar
that i keep for days and nights like these.

© 2000, Mxolisi Nyezwa
From: Song Trials
Publisher: University of Natal Press (Gecko Poetry), South Africa
ISBN: 0 86980 9768


LadyFi said...

I love that poem - so delicate and descriptive!

Please don't stop blogging.. even your crap days are good!

Anonymous said...

I don't really have a spot. For me it's in music. Better yet if it's raining and I can listen on my earphones. I'm a bit of a loner, but the rain and a good book really has me on par. Also, my own room.

I hope the whole CD thing works... and the poem is pretty.

Kitty Cat said...

I went through that blog-drying-up thing myself, as you know. It's come back. Took a while. Sometimes a break is good.
I also find the sea very soothing, but don't necessarily go there when I'm feeling down, I just love it in general.

Mandrake said...

Well, i was going through the same thing. and then i realised, if i got all this extreme boredom at work. i might as well do something about it.

its why i've been posting the most random stuff. at least its a good outlet to just unload stuff you don't need on your brain, then maybe the real pieces will slip through.

6000 said...

I like to be on the open end of a decent Cab Sauv.

No bloody wonder there were icebergs, you were on the wrong side!

Will pop down to Fishhoek on Sunday morning and walk along it for you or something.

As for blog block - take a look at my QOTD post from yesterday - the link in there is very informative.
Or move to Wordpress - it's like getting a new mobile phone: you'll love to play and write.

DT said...

I think my place would have to be in a coffee shop, with a book in my hands - I almost always feel a thousand times better once I have escaped into another world for a while!

Louisa said...

I also want one of those whale sound CDs. If you find a good one, will you let me know what it's called?

My feel-better place is in the botanical gardens, especially when it rains cause then no one else is there. I switch my phone off and just lie on the grass staring at the waterfall - I suppose that's the closest to the sea I can get here too.

Dash said...

I like trams and trains. Nothing is better than making up stories about your fellow get the juices flowing again.

And dear hgod I wish I could go to the beach...just to hear it. I think of my friends currently working on assignments in Tonga and Vanuatu. But then I have to remind myself that the Himalayas are like 'JUST THERE' forget sometimes.

po said...

Ladyfi: thans but not so sure about that!

Paula: yes, my room is good too, but it is tough to be alone in there since I share it with the BFG

kitty cat:I love the sea so much, I want to live near to it one day. My dad keeps telling m to avoid the sea due to global warming though :)

Mandrake: hectic you have been busy on your blog! I have some catching up to do.

po said...

6000: that "wrong side" thing is but a rumour. I never found the other side much warmer at all. Icebergs all around.

DT: oh yes coffee shops are great too, I am a coffee addict and a book addict. Although reading on the beach is great too.

Louisa:I used to work at Kirstenbosch and took full advantage of my free pass. It is beautiful.

Dash: yeah trains are ok, but the ones I take are so full and busy that it is hard to zone out. And as for the passengers, English train users are generally extremely quiet and well behaved. Dead silent actually. Not much juicy stuff going on there at all.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

for a moment i was going to write
nice poem
but sums up a lot of emotions
then I read the copyright
and i thought F*ck you aint the writer
so if you personally know the writer please tell him i said
nice poem
but sums up a lot of emotions lol

ps: when Im stressed at work i go to the toilet lol (again)

LadyFi said...

I've now linked to your post as part of the Strange Shores Blog Carnival.

po said...

miss definitely: me too! but the one at work is really busy so it is not very peaceful.

Ladyfi: thanks so much will check it out.

Medio Pomelo said...

That is a good post, very descriptive and the simulation idea made me laugh :)
I go to a cafe too. And when it's real bad to a church or synagogue. I'm not a believer and still, those places have a soothing effect. And then there is one more "place" which I visit more than I should: a chilled bottle of Sauvignon blanc. I'd like to think I would rather visit the beach if there was one nearby...

Tamara said...

I go away inside my head. Before you call me crazy, allow me to explain...

When I was a kid we spent a holiday in a chalet in Knynsa on a lagoon. There was this jetty that went out into the still water and I'd sit on the edge in the late afternoon light and dip my toes in the cool water. When I'm stressed or frustrated, I imagine that I'm back there.

Just concentrating on what it smelt like, how the water felt and the sounds of the birds and the water lapping on the sands, I can almost believe I'm there. It doesn't solve everything, but it's a great five-minute escape and mood calmer ;-)

po said...

Tamara: I do a similar thing actually. But where I go, I have no idea what happens. I totally space out and completely detach from everything. All the women in my family do this. It can be quite annoying for other people!

Jeanne said...

Robberg Beach, Plettenberg Bay. It works better than 6 months of therapy and a vat of Prozac (but not quite as well as a litre of tequila).

po said...

Jeanne: I went to Plett for the first time in my life last year! what an awesome place. Our relations there sleep with the doors unlocked. It kind of freaked me out.

The beach is stunning.