I have decided to give the blogosphere a bit of insight into what it is I do all day now that I am employed.
Step, if you will, inside the shoes of a Biologist. Make sure you have labcoat, gloves and safety glasses at the ready. The safety glasses are there to protect you from the lab llamas. Llamas make great scientists. But they spit like a bitch. True story.
I generally work with DNA from various things. I am sure you all know that DNA looks like this:
Only not so colourful. And we don't see it like that with the naked eye, it is far too small. And contrary to popular belief (BFG thought this) DNA is not like an organ ferreted away somewhere behind the liver. You have the full set of all your genes in every single cell of your body. With me so far?
Now I do various things with DNA (wrap it around my head, tie climbers knots in it, that sort of thing) and invariably I need to see if what I was doing worked. So I visualise the DNA like this:
Yup, the DNA is those little white strips. Beeeautiful huh? You have no idea how happy those little white strips make me. Little white strips mean "good day". Unless they are in the wrong place. They sometimes appear where they shouldn't be. Bad strips.
On a " very bad day" I might see something like this instead:
Baaaaaaaad. Then I have to explain to my boss why there are no little white strips. How the fuck am I supposed to know? You bastards, where are you? Burning in DNA HELL I hope.
I am aware that by using Paint, or some similar program, I could fabricate a black background and a few white strips. But that would be naughty. I swear to you, my job is not sitting in front of the computer all day, drawing little white strips on black backgrounds. Those white lines really are DNA.
Cool stuff, right? I can see you all queueing for miles to switch jobs and become a biolo-cyst.
Oh I forgot to add: I use highly toxic chemicals all day long. The kind that can cause you to mutate into flourescent green seamonkeys with extra toes. I just thought I would add that in as an extra bonus.
AND just to clinch the deal. You get paid badly.
Little white strip, anyone?