There were rumours of -9 degrees in Oxfordshire these last few days. -9! Oxfordshire is where I work. I can safely say that that is the coldest degree I have ever had the pleasure of entertaining.
Ok so it is only a measly -5 where I live. But to even survive in close proximity to -9 degrees surely warrants some kind of Brownie achievement badge or something, no?
I cannae cope, Cap'n. I doon't have the poower. I am an engine streamlined for 100% humidity and, like, bananas.
It doesn't help that we have no central heating, double glazing or other such requirements for the Northern hemisphere. All we have is a ridiculous electric heater bolted to the wall that heats one cubic millimeter of air around it. If it wasn't for BFG acting as a personal hot water bottle I don't think I would still be alive.
I know these temperatures are piddling for some people, out there with the yaks. But you yak people must surely be superhuman? How can you survive below -9? It just doesn't make any sense.
I wanna live in Jamaica.... Jamaica.... where the bananas are apparatus for the bobsled team; daylight come and me wanna go home...
Sorry, my last neuron froze and all seems a bit hazy and inc-c-c-coherent right now. Is that a tarantula going past on banana skis?