Saturday, 14 February 2009

Urgent advice needed.

I need help!

My colleagues at work keep telling me that I need to eat broccoli. Apparently the stuff not only helps to prevent cancer but may even help to cure it. It is one of those superfoods or something. I know this is possibly spurious but I eat almost no green things. I want to learn to eat broccoli.

Over the years I have formed abominable eating habits. To the point where I really feel I should make an effort to be healthier. But broccoli is pushing my vegetable spectrum to the extreme. I just cannot stomach the stuff. It is foul, vile and possibly the snot of Satan. I would rather lick toads than eat it.

So who out there knows a way to make broccoli taste ok? A way to disguise it so that the putrid taste is eliminated? So that it is broccoli but without the broccoliness? Anyone?

Help a seamonkey to be healthier, please?


Louisa said...

Some people just disguise it with a cheese sauce?

I like to make a chicken and broccoli bake. You de-bone and chop up in bite size chunks some pre-cooked chicken and some fresh broccoli. Whack it in a caserole dish (no lid required). Then make a white sauce, add some grated mozerella to that. Ooze that over the chicken and broccoli till it almost covers everything. Take some flavoured breadcrumbs (I like to blits up about two slices of bread with a handful of chopped almonds and about two table spoons of parmesan cheese to make mine - serves 4-5) cover the whole dish with that. 180'C in the over till the breadcrumb crust goes golden and starts looking nice and crunchy. Et voila! Chicken broccoli bake is all yours. Sometimes before whacking it in the oven I add a sprinkling of fine dry red pepper over the top - depends if I feel like it that day or not. The whole process shouldn't take more than about 30-40 minutes - I don't have patience to do anything that takes longer.

My brother hates broccoli, so if I make this I replace his broccoli with green beans and it works just fine too. If you really can't stomach broccoli then don't have it Po. Life's uncertain, eat desert first! ;-)

Anonymous said...

ooooo your saviour is here! I decided long ago I'd start consuming broccoli, just thought I needed something healthy and chose it, later on I read how amazing it is, super food etc, I'm very intuitive :P

So anyways, this is how I have it, I drink it. Blend almost a whole pack with some apples and fruit juice/s and it tastes yum coz of the fruit juice (sometimes add 1 of those little cholestrol drinking yoghurts from woolworths), so you get the health benefits but don't have to eat something not so nice :)

LadyFi said...

Oh - I love broccoli - does that help?

Perhaps licking toads is just as healthy as eating broccoli?

If not - then I suggest: making cauliflower cheese, except that you use broccoli. Or if you like cauliflower, you use both.

Make a stew and bung some in - the stew will disguise the taste, especially if you splash some wine in with it.

Eat broccoli raw - it has quite a different taste - you might like it. Dip bits of broccoli into your favourite dip sauces.

Make chocolate fondue: dip your broccoli into that and voila - crunchy deliciousness!

Lick a toad, or some worms, or some poo - broccoli will probably taste nice in comparison!

Glad to be of help,
Lady Fi the Crazy Cook!

mylifescape said...

try it in a veggie bake - you can do veggie and chicken bake or as Louisa says, cheese sauce. I eat brocolli every week, its GREAT for your skin!!

brocolli soup is also great - check out this post i wrote a while back

po said...

Louisa: you have me salivating onto my keyboard here. But cheese sauce does nothing for me, the broccoli ickiness still comes through.

But that bake thing sounds incredible.

Anon: Intriguing. Broccoli smoothie? I am kind of scared to try it but it could be the winner!

ladyfi: broccoli may be the snot of Satan, cauliflower is his pus. Both cauliflower and broccoli cheese make me retch.

But the raw thing, I could try that, you may have something there!

The stew idea sometimes works, but only if the pieces are tiiiiny.

And as for licking poo...I think broccoli is not THAT important :)

mylifescape: I have tried broccoli soup. It was ok when it was very hot, but the minute it cooled down I felt sick!

MidniteGem said...

My way of eating broccoli is with LOADS of nice hit lemon butter all over it. basically heat up butter and lemon juice together. i'm also so not a fan of basically any vegetable. I normally have loads of ways to disguise them. Like sugar carrots - the best thing ever.

Charlotte said...

I agree that raw is best - it's lovely dipped in hummous.

If you do cook it, the secret is to flash-boil or steam it for a very short time. Brocoli that is over-cooked and flabby is disgusting.

A friend of mine does a fantastic brocoli salad, with crispy bacon bits and red onion. Very yummy.

Sass said...

I'm sure there is something besides broccoli that you could eat for health. Like...dark chocolate and red wine.


Broccoli is a personal favorite of mine, so I'm no help. My son hates it cooked, but LOVES it raw with ranch dressing.

But then, doesn't the fat of the dip somewhat negate the health benefits of the broccoli?

I'm still going with dark chocolate and red wine.

po said...

midnite gem: hmm, sounds interesting. It could work.

charlotte: yeah this raw thing sounds like a good idea. Salad? That sounds so weird.

Sass: Ha I don't care about fat, I just want anti-cancer antioxidants or whatever they are. Bring on the fat, I say!

Eileen said...

Hi there, my husband goes green at the thought of Broccoli, so I tried this recipe and voila!

But I Don't Eat Broccoli, Broccoli Salad


1 head broccoli, raw
8 ounces bacon
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated
1 cup mayonnaise, use a non-tangy mayo like Miracle Whip thinned with a little milk (NOT salad dressing)
¾ cup sunflower seeds


• Cut the broccoli florets and non-woody parts of the stems into small pieces.
• Dice the bacon and fry until crisp and allow to cool.
• Mix all the ingredients together and serve.
• Please note that the quantities given are just a guide and may be adjusted to taste
• Keeps well in the fridge for a few days

po said...

Hi Eileen: that sounds delicious, well as delicious as broccoli could possibly sound!

Thanks so much. I will give it a go.

6000 said...

Mix it with liver.
2 parts liver to 1 part broccoli.
Add EtBr to taste.

po said...

6000: is this attempted murder?

Or do you just think a UV-glow in the dark seamonkey will be the next big thing?

Anonymous said...

I love brocolli. Like love it. So, i wouldn't be worthy to help you. So be glad that other people comment or your suggestion from me would literally only be a little butter and salt. Lol. I'm so using some of these recipes.

Dash said...

just sit yourself down with some brocolli while watching tv and don't think about it. go for it raw and it'll be gone in no time. just distract the brain with something else.

or east brussel sprouts, those things are amazing for such little guys....

po said...

Paula: you like. BROCCOLI. How can this be? Are you superhuman?

Dash: uh no, that could never happen. nothing could possibly distract me from broccoli. And as for brussel sprouts, even the smell is too much for me.

Jeanne said...

Does it HAVE to be broccoli? The other cruciferous vegetables share the same cancer-fighting properties. I know cauliflower is out from a previous comment (!) but how do you feel about Savoy cabbage? Bok choy? Even coleslaw??

po said...

Jeanne: really? Others are good too? I can do coleslaw. If you are really telling me that coleslaw is as good as broccoli then I am saved!

redframe said...

Hi Po, DT sent me over here and I'm really enjoying you! I KNOW you're not going to want to hear this, but seriously, fresh broccoli steamed for 5 minutes tastes so good. I used to hate veggies too but now steamed broc with just a bit of butter and salt is one of my favourite things! Bamboo steamers are cheap, easy, quick. Changed my life I swear. Good luck!

po said...

redframe: hey, thanks for stopping by! I am still going to try this idea of yours... sometime!

To all of you who recommend eating broccoli raw, I found out from a broccoli scientist that we cannot break down the cell walls of the plant to get out the good nutrients, unless it is at least slightly cooked. Unfortunately!