Monday, 16 February 2009

Interview with a brine shrimp

I have been interviewed. I know, I know; it is hard work being the most sought after seamonkey in the whole of my block of flats, but somebody has to do it.

Medio Pomelo has interviewed me. I love her blog. I am not even sure how I found it. It was a serendipitous event. Her writing style is beautiful. It inspires me. Thanks for the awesome questions!

I in turn must offer to interview anyone who wants to be interrogated by me.

So if you want to be interviewed, please say so in the comments and I will think up 5 questions for you.

Unfortunately I am still in a rather negative frame of mind, so these answers are a bit morose. I feel like I am exposing a raw, dark side of myself here. But it is a large part of me. So hold onto your hats.

1)What achievement/possession/quality of yours are you most proud of?

This is so hard to answer right now.

I try to be non-judgemental. I hate being judged, so I try not to do it to others. People have reasons for doing things that we usually know nothing about. Does that count?

Otherwise, I am proud of my capacity for sleep. My body, if left to its own devices, will happily sleep 12 hours a day. I am part seamonkey, part sloth.

2) If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

My belief that I do not have the ability to do anything. My low expectations of myself. I could go on forever...

3) What happened in the happiest day of your life?

Um, maybe it is still coming up?

I have had many really happy days, but none stick out as the happiest.

Here is one:

- when the BFG came home on the boat from Antarctica after 15 months away, I was sooo happy. It was strange, it was as if he had never been away. Except he had a huge cloud of hair. We went straight to the beach. He was so white and he got fried by the Cape Town sun.

4) If you looked into a magic mirror and saw your life in 2020 what would you like to see?

I find it hard to picture more than a day ahead in my life. I would be 40. Oh. my. word. I hope I am still alive, still with the BFG, and have my sister close by me. I hope I have not allowed myself to wallow in some pathetic misery to the point where I could not find a way out. I hope I am not bitter. I hope I am still brutally honest with myself. I hope my seamonkey fame has taken over the world. Of course.

5) What do you miss most from SA apart from the sunshine? And least?

Hmm, I have been trying to avoid this kind of topic. It seems to be touchy and troublesome. But for you, Medio Pomelo, I shall unleash my best answer:

I miss many superficial things. The outdoor life. I miss going climbing or hiking after work, or playing beach volleyball. I miss belonging, or the illusion thereof. I miss not thinking about South Africa. I only ever started to think about the place a few years after I left. And it drives me nuts.

I do not miss the crime. Or the weird confused guilt that only a pathetic angsty white person such as myself could feel. You can lecture me about this being silly and dated and whatever, and I know. I am just being honest. It's not like I felt it all the time. Mostly I was too self absorbed to notice anything or anyone else.

I don't miss the crappiness of the poverty and anger created by such a sick system. And the sense of inevitability that tainted everything that happened. And still happens.

On the flip side, I miss that incredible resilience in South Africans that I have not found so much elsewhere. People who have nothing still smiling good morning to you as if they really mean it. And they do.

But what I really miss, I do not know. I feel like I am physically missing a part of myself. I associate this loss with South Africa, but it may be something else that caused it. It could also all just be in my mind.

Isn't everything?


The Spear said...

The thing I miss most about SA is the people. I think one only realise how much it is part of you after you left.

Dash said...

oh Po, you poor lost chicken. I hope you can get through the sadness. but then from my experience, sadness brings the best writing. the damned irony

i'd totally love an interview, and an award. no one cares about me! WAAAAAH!!!!

in all seriousness I probably don't deserve an award, one is only likely to get one when it is deserved...

regarding the depression-ness, not that I know anything about it, but can you just switch off for a while? Switch off South Africa or England and the brain that makes you think the bad things.

OK, just re-read that, how could you possibly switch off...sorry, just wish I could be helpful.

DT said...

Oh Po - how I envy your sleeping ability! I also love bloggers with an exposed dark side ;-)

po said...

Spear: I agree. It is always the way

Dash: i am gonna dream up some questions for you, send them to you some time this week.

I am not homesick at all actually, just sick of myself. But I have decided i have SAD, so it is all the weather anyway!

DT i sleep too much for my own good, you can have some of mine.

LadyFi said...

Oh - pick me! Pick me - for your left-over sleep.. I really need some!

If you feel like interviewing me - fine. If not - that's cool too...

If you think you have SAD - go out and buy some daylight bulbs - you know the ones you use for plants - and put them in the rooms where you spend the most time.

As a yak person, I can tell you that I find these daylight bulbs invaluable in fighting off the sadness and morbidity due to lack of light...

po said...

ladyfi: good advice, thank you! Um I have nevr used any kind of bulb for plants, ever. But I assume I can find them online.

Will be dreaming up some questions for you too. Some time.

Soon. Ish.

Goblin said...

That was awesome Po po. Well, not your sadness and missing links, that sucks, but you'll figure it out. You're a smart cookie.
It's always nice to get to know more about the people you read about!


Tamara said...

My favourite quality of yours: 1) you're real and raw when you need to be 2) you're funny 3) you write brilliantly.

Medio Pomelo said...

Thanks a lot for the answers PO!! I really enjoyed reading them! (And the compliment...thank you!:) I really liked the happy day description and the "huge cloud of hair" Sounds mad :)
I'd so love to go to SA. It sounds more and more amazing the more I hear from it. This sentence said so much about the place:
"People who have nothing still smiling good morning to you as if they really mean it. And they do." I need that (and I need that now!)

PO, don't worry about the sadness. It is because of Februray. February is rubbish. The rubbishest of the rubbish months. will be over soon.

po said...

Thanks Goblin, hope gobby has finally left you alone?

Tamara: wow you made my day! Thanks so much. You are too kind.

Medio pomelo: thanks for the interview. You are right about Feb, don't they say it is always darkest just before the dawn?

And that thing about South Africans is really true, i think.

DT said...

Po - I would totally love to be interviewed by you! That’s if the offer still stands...or if you are not too busy...