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Wednesday, 4 February 2009

That One Time


This topic is old and lame, so sorry if I bore you. I just can’t seem to get over it. The ole blog seems good for helping me past such blockages. Where extra fibre is not doing the trick.

Men. What planet?

BFG is very domesticated. Far more so than me. I am a lazy sloth. He often washes the dishes, and this is much appreciated, bits of stuck-on food aside. 

For me it is all in the finer details. How come after he has finished using the sink, he never cleans it out? I will come to use it later and find ancient bits of food clogging the drain, and general scaly griminess adorning the basin. 

Same when he shaves or uses the bath. He never cleans up afterwards. 

Training a man is a lifelong commitment. I have tried the nagging, the subliminal messaging, the blackmail, the  bribery, the reverse psychology. At the moment I silently sneak after him and clean up. Until I find a better strategy.

As much as all this irks me now, I know I don’t have it too bad. At least he cleans. And when his trail of muckiness gets to me I can always think back to That One Time.

That One Time was when BFG decided to clean the bathroom from top to bottom, including the sink and bath, completely voluntarily.

I walked in and found him wiping down all the surfaces: the window ledge, the sink, the tiles. With the toilet cloth. With the cloth he uses to wipe the toilet. I asked him about this. Turns out he had wiped down deep within the toilet bowl, and then proceeded to continue wiping down the rest of the bathroom. Not even a rinse of the cloth.

At this point I needed to go and lie down. 

I am pragmatic about bacteria. I studied Microbiology, and my philosophy is, if it doesn't kill you it will make your immune system stronger. I have no problem eating food off the floor. But even I have my limits. 

I have no idea how BFG proceeded to cleanse our bathroom: how many times he wiped off our faeces-encrusted surfaces, and how many times he rerinsed.   I was lying on my back with my eyes closed trying to picture fluffy hamsters waltzing. While fanning my face.

So it really is better that I do the wiping up. It really is.

I love my BFG to bits. He is one of a kind, and anyone could have made that mistake so I tell myself every day oh excuse me I need to go and lie down now.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg lol, I just died reading that! *cringeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

sleepyjane said...

Haha! That's horrible!! J usually uses the drying cloth to wipe spills on the kitchen floor.

I go apeshit about that!

Tay said...

Eeeek, that makes me wonder what my B/F actually does when "cleaning".... *shiver

LadyFi said...

LOL! Typical man cleaning... kind of like man flu - they are just too hopeless. Or too smart - it could just be a clever ploy to get out of the cleaning forever!!

But hey - it didn't kill you, just made you stronger...

Are those waltzing hamsters fluffy and pink?

Rox said...

Men, sheesh.

A friend of mine's husband used a dirty dishcloth to wipe their baby's face.. and couldn't understand why she got a bit miffed.

Different planet, pffft - more like different solar system!

Kitty Cat said...

Euwwww....that's all I can say. Euwww.

6000 said...

Pleasant.

btw: Never say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" to anyone with cerebral palsy.

btw2: just emailed you. don't be scared.

momcat said...

Well you can be sure they never listened to their mothers (I've got boys) and they were probably daydreaming when they covered germs in Biology, so its best that they stick to cleaning where you cannot use the implement for anything else i.e. sweeping or mopping. I have caught my boys using my dishcloth in a variety of applications. And if I find my dishcloth on the kitchen counter I immediately change for a clean one.

Being Brazen said...

Im with kitty on this one...Ewwwwwwwwwwww...thats all i can say

Superficialgirl said...

lol, at least he tries :) My boyfriend leaves ALL the cleaning cooking washing etc up to me... and the thing is he is so much better at cleaning than i am!

DT said...

Hehehe! That is so funny! For some reason Men just don’t get the cloth thing, it is like we have so many purely because we are frivolous!

Dash said...

brilliant! But had you thought of the fact that he mnight have done that in response to the subliminal messages? LOL, jokes on you!

Unless its not, in which case....ew

po said...

Anon: eek, my first murder victim. I hope I get manslaughter at least!

sleepyjane: yeah BFG does that too, but that I can handle (in comparison). I hate it when he uses the dish sponge to wipe the floor thouh.

Tay: haha best you don't look into it too closely!

Ladyfi: I never managed to see the hamsters. I was too freaked out!

Rox: my god! That is bad, poor little baby

po said...

kitty: that was pretty much all I could say too

6000: You are right, actually that saying is pretty crap. There are plenty of things that don't kill you that make you weaker.

But I am not averse to eating dropped food. Just saying.

momcat: boys are bad reflections on their mothers! I happen to know BFG's mom is superclean, neat and organised. What happened?

BB: eeeeuw x 2

superficial girl: hectic! BFG and I share the cleaning, and by share, I mean he does more :(

po said...

DT: my BF thinks having more than one plate is frivolous so really I can't win!

dash: Um. Never thought of it like that. Where did I go wrong??!!

Prixie said...

uh oh - think of monica from friends - thats me. yup. i would have dropped dead!

po said...

Prixie: he he. I am more of a phoebe mixed with a dash of joey, but even I was disturbed!

Louisa said...

That is truly nasty Po...eeeuw! No wonder you prefer to do the cleaning yourself.

Goblin said...

You've frightened me now.

A has been on leave and on a cleaning kick so when I come home from work he's done all sorts of stuff...and it could be anything! It could be giving the bathroom a new veneer! Eeek!

boldly benny said...

Ha ha ha ha! This is hilarious! I would probably have had a similar reaction to you.
My boyfriend is very similar - means so well, but somehow gets it a bit wrong. BUT he cooks me dinner so I tend to overlook the other stuff.

po said...

Louisa: eeeuw x 3000

Goblin: mwaha. you may need to hire a microbiologist to do a once over for ecoli and such.

boldly benny: bfg is exactly the same. But the thought really counts. Except That One Time.

Wenchy said...

*At this point I needed to go and lie down.*

At this point I just laughed!

The Spear said...

Haaaa, grasshoppaaa!

Man only cleans to make woman feel guilty.

Much to learn you have....

:)

Jeanne said...

LOL!! What planet indeed. I also have one at home who does not see the need to clean the area/equipment that will be used for cleaning other things. The washing up cloths never get bleached, the sink never gets wiped, and if we have to get into a discussion about stubble in the basin/bath, my head might spin round three times on my neck and explode.

My sympathy for the all-purpose bathroom-cleansing cloth episode...

Sass said...

oooohhhhhh....

That's what I just said as I read this.

Thanks for the cringe/smile/chuckle/and head-shake all in one.

Rare, the post that can elicit that response. ;)

po said...

The spear: Is that martian speak :)

Wenchy: hehe. I can laugh about it now. But then, not so much.

Jeanne: hang on are you telling me you are supposed to bleach wash cloths!!!

I am not very good at this domestic stuff. But I would have liked to have bleached my entire house after that episode!

Sass: quite an achievement I say. But it is the bfg's to claim!

Tamara said...

Strangely, it could have been worse...

At least you didn't catch him cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush.

po said...

Tamara: Oh my freakout! Why do I have the feeling that that could happen so easily?