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Friday, 26 February 2010

DON'T CARE!


I think I wrote somewhere, sometime (not going to link to it because I am ashamed) that I was trying to cut down on coffee because of health reasons blah blah.

Well I am back to drinking a million cups of coffee a day. Because it actually lifts my mood. I don't know about scientific data proving that caffeine is an antidepressant but it is for me, probably because I'm an addict. If it gets me through this winter that's fine, I just hope my liver holds out.

I've realised that I am no longer able to distinguish when things are going well or badly at work. I think I reached a threshold of despair, and now I feel bad all the time, even though things are ok. I am miserable at work at the moment, and this extends to home where I just sleep and eat, and... sleep.

But not to worry, because this is all clearly down to SAD and if I hang in there and don't scream or throw something or say what's on my mind to anyone at work, then I will survive and winter will be over and I won't go insane.

And I even had an extra dose of sun over January!

Oh dear. When does it get warm here again? I remember people always talk about the good week in April. Bring on the good week in bloody April.

I have scientifically calculated that Northern European winters are bad for my health (sharp hey) so we are planning to move to South Africa round the end of next year.

I hope you realise how scared I feel writing that down in my blog. I never announce plans in my life ever, because things go wrong, and people change their minds, and things don't work out, and things get delayed, and things are not meant to be. But we are hoping to move back next year, or sometime. I am so superstitious that writing it makes me feel like I have jinxed it.

Oh ja, p.s. don't tell my Dad. My Dad's tactic of persuading me not to go back to South Africa drives me insane and involves him shouting the word "Australia" to me at random intervals. Oh Daddy, you never learned did you; if you want your stubborn daughter to do something you must tell her to do the opposite. There is now no way in hell I will ever move to Australia, just to go against my Dad.

Yes I am a brat.

Right now I don't care what anyone says about South Africa.

  • Malema wants to nationalise everything -> don't care
  • Malema is annoying -> don't care
  • The ANCYL declares a state of war every time someone looks at them -> don't care
  • SA is crime ridden -> don't care
  • Zuma wants to shag everything and have a million babies -> don't care
  • I spent my whole life in South Africa in financial difficulty -> don't care
  • people keep saying farming is doomed and SA will become Zim etc etc -> don't care
  • SA doesn't have iTunes or cheap and easy internet -> eeep I may care about this
  • Steve Hofmeyer lives in SA -> don't care


These are the reasons people give for not going back, amongst others. Well, I DON'T CARE!

I do care obviously, I care very much, but I'm going home damnit. I want to care there rather than here.

There must be reasons for me wanting to move back other than weather, but ... well, the weather is a major factor. Yup, how lame is that? And it's time for a change, BFG and I are stagnating.

Never underestimate the power of irrationality, frivolity and whim when it comes to making huge life decisions, that is my advice for the day.

18 comments:

DT said...

I think I have been secretly waiting for you to say that! YAY! Let me just assure you that all the things you don’t care about - you don’t have to care about, sometimes in is so absurd you can only laugh. Cape Town is looking so beautiful in preparation for the world cup , I think you are going to be very happy and very inspired to be back in SA. Might not be the cushiest country to live but we are very blessed with our own something something.

Go boldly into your decision Po – no trepidation – for I personally, of my own humble opinion, believe you have made the right one!

SonnyVsDan said...

at the risk of sounding like your father,

australia!

Weather, rugby, cricket and i even know a few people that can make a mean boerevor (however the hell you spell it).

my real suggestion would be to head somewhere else, do it differently, don't stagnate and don't return to those things you obviously are worried about..

Paula said...

You know I laughed really loudly at this post.

When you were listing your reasons especially.

Malema is Zuma's thingie (I forgot the word for it) but like when... oh yeah- decoy. Malema is his decoy- whenever the press is hot on Zuma's heels- suddenly Malema does and says something incredibly ridiculous. Like I think I should look it up and see how much the ANC is trying to cover up about Zuma. But it's insane and to their own detriment.

I'd love it if you came here. It would be fun I suppose. But like, not having met and all- it feels weird saying it. So you'll have to excuse me if I can't. I mean your blogs would feature a lot more slang, and more about peeps in SA but then... not much different... unless I finally go to a blogGirls event and you go too. Or you come to my school or I go to a place where they tell you aboout DNA stuff and you happen to be there.

You get it?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH have you heard about Die Antwoord. Legendary ish. But don't listen to them without warning that you need a really big sense of humour and experience to love the kind of music they offer.

Steve Hofmeyer live heres.... bwaaaaaaaaaa-hahahahahahaha

Paula said...

SonnyVSDan is on to something with Australia. Don't hit me. I heard that they can crumple your car to the size of a matchbox or shoe box [I forget] in Australia.

I'd go just to see THAT.

Teehee Steve Hofmeyer (muffles laugh) too funny.

Damaria Senne said...

holding thumbs that nothing messes up your plans.

Tamara said...

Good. Yes, SA has enough issues to fill a soap opera for 16 years, but it has equal potential and loads of great weather. Also, it's never dull. Julius makes sure of that.

And anyhoo, interminable bad weather is no small deal to those who grew up with the proper amount of sunshine ;-)

Yay Po.

po said...

DT: I am inspired already! I can't wait. My only trepidation is that I won't be able to make it happen. I always doubt myself. And for the rest, I don't care :)

Sonnyvsdan: haha. I think Australia looks like an awesome place, seriously. I hope to go there one day. But I want to go back to SA and probably won't shut up until I do it. Who knows, when I'm there, maybe all I will think about will be Aus!

I really am not worried about those things, except for the financial difficulty one, that was real for me, and I spent a lot of time imagining how I would survive living on the street.. a bit extreme I know but I have no faith in my ability to look after myself.

Paula: I am with you on the decoy thing. Zuma is super sharp and I reckon whenever he is in trouble with the media/publig he prods Malema and tells him to say something silly. It works :)

I would love to meet you, it would rock. And yes, I have heard about Die Antwoord, that band have taken over the internet, seriously, they are everywhere. I think they are so bad that they are legend, or so bad and yet so good. They are so bizarre that you have to be fascinated by them.

Damaria: in the end it is up to me (and BFG) alone. The only thing that could mess with my plans is me not making it happen. Which is why I'm so scared!

Tamara: exactly and I want it all the whole crazy menagerie.
I will just have to open a sunscreen company, cos my skin is so white now it will take me a while to reintroduce melanin, not that I have much in the first place :)

Cam said...

Cheap internet arrives next month!

R100 for 5 gigs, shweet!

Helen said...

We just got the shiny new cable thingie for cheaper internet :)

not to mention Ouma rusks, nik-naks, peppermint crisp, and the weather to run around outside while on a crazy sugar high from all of the above!

I don't know if it's the right decision, but i do know that I love SA, even with the Malemas and the Zumas and everything else. At least it's always entertaining!

And don't forget the dassies!

po said...

Cam: awesomeness! 5 gigs, is that a lot, I dunno we get unlimited but I'm sure 5 gigs is loads :)

Helen: I am only coming back for the dassies. The rest is all obfuscation (is that a word?).

Willem said...

I've stayed in South Africa my whole life now. I've seen all the crap people moaned and warned you about, but this place is my home. To travel and see the world is one thing but move your home to another country is a whole new story.

My friends are here, my old schools, the cafe at the BP garage, friendly people who speak my language, dumb people and mad taxi drivers to make things interesting...I have a history here and tradition that comes with it.

Sure you can make new friends but you won't be able to have a braai with your buddies from first grade every weekend. You're missing out on great wheather as well. The springboks are the best!

But it's still your coice!

po said...

Willem: I'm coming home, I'm coming. My point was that I don't care what is going on SA, I'm coming home. But my friends from first grade are long gone.My friends from uni too. Doesn't matter, I don't see them now, I won't see them there. I can make friends!

Shannon said...

Oh Po, I am so hoping to be in SA for at least a year after graduation in May--how fun would it be to meet in person? And Boston winters are very like London winters I think, so I feel your pain. I was lamenting to someone today that February is the absolute worst, because it feels like it has always *been* winter, and will always *be* winter, and I am doomed to spend my life in a world where skies are gray and the wind bites and the sun is out for a whopping 5 hours a day and everything is dark by 4 and I...HATE...IT.

I'm from Texas. We are a tropical people. I was not built for this. So I understand entirely.

Also...no iTunes in SA? Srsly? This could put a serious crimp in my plans.

Aaron Thomae said...

http://www.bestvacationdestinations.blogspot.com/

po said...

Hey Shannon: ja I hear your pain. February is hard. And its over, yay! It would be cool to meet, but I think if we move it will only be at the end of next year.

I think us tropical types are doomed to long for the sun. It's a disease I tell you!

Beth said...

This is a great blog!

deepak seo said...

hey great blog and thanks to think about South African peoples.

deepak seo said...

hey great blog and thanks to think about South African peoples.