Thursday, 2 July 2009

Things I learned in the last week

1) There is a hairstyle, a "look", that defines Spanish climbers, and apparently Italian ones too. It has also been spotted on French climbing heads. So far British climbers have not been infected, but will they hold out forever?

The look is: a mullet with dreads. A mullet with these long disgusting scraggly tails that are either braided or dreaded or just loose and shaggy. Euuuuggh.

Dreads are kind of funky, kind of cool in a dodgy climber kind of way. Mullets, um, no. A mullet with dreads is just going too far.

I wonder, is it pronounced moollay in French? And in Spanish, mooyet? Is that a word for "monstrosity"?

Here is a link to another blog, Hive Mind Travels, with evidence of this terrifying anomaly, if you want to see it for yourself.

2)Europe is flipping expensive. When I was an innocent nipper in South Africa, I heard legends of the impossible expensiveness of the UK, where one could pay R30 for a coke. And when I first got here Europe was cheaper than the UK. Not any more, sheesh. Now the UK is a cheap destination.

A friend paid 2 euros and 30 cents for a tiny coke bottle that must have been about 200mls. Which translates to R43 for 350mls of coke.

How do you say RIPOFF in Spanish?

3) English people are into their fashion in a beeg way. Trends change quickly and you have to keep up, changing styles every few months.

BUT. When it becomes even slightly uncomfortably hot, all of their innate fashion consciousness just melts away. English people just cannot look good in the heat.

They do not do cool shorts here. Teeny tiny polyshorts and running shorts, and capri pants on men and oh dear. Even the baggies here are a bit circumspect. They look suspiciously like pantaloons.

And the legs, oh the legs, I thought I was pale but this is supersonic. These are legs that have never ever seen the light of day.

And then there are the strops and slops worn with thick socks. Just what is the point of having huge holes in your shoes to air your feet if you encase them in huge tubes of heat-inducing knitted fluff?

Most of the time they just take their clothes off and parade around in their underwear anyway.

English people, don't be offended by my amusement, I know for a fact that South Africans are the worst dressed people you could ever see in winter. We just cannot fathom the concept of fashionable and sensible clothing in the cold. We all look like bergies and we all freeze to death and complain about the cold while wearing a thin South African rugby jersey we have had for 10 years. Fact. The English pull off winter in style.

4) I love the heat. People have been complaining about the heat all week and I am in my element. I finally feel comfortable in my skin. My body feels fluid and energetic.

I am fantasising about moving back to Durban. I know I thought I would never live there again, and when I go back on holiday the humidity nearly kills me, but it seems to be the only place warm enough to keep me happy. A place where you drip with sweat while lying in the shade. Can I have some skin with that sweat?

Bring it on.


Tamara said...

R43? That's insane. And saffers moan if they have to pay R15 for a Coke at Sun City ;-)

Moollay... LOVE it (not the style, you know - the pronunciation). I will never forgive McGuyver for misleading me into liking moollays as a kid. Thank goodness I have learned the truth!

po said...

Tamara: what about some dreads with that moollay?

R15!!!!! that is loads. But yeah, and this was the tiniest coke I have ever seen. Is it becos we is tourists, or do they charge everyone such ludicrous prices? Cunningly, there was no coke on the menu so we did not know the price beforehand.

Helen said...

For the record saffers aren't all that great at dressing in summer. I spend my summers ear Nelspruit, and while I love the Moumalangians more than anything, they ave given me an education in two-tone khaki, short shorts, crocs... and mullays? I don't think they ever left...

MidniteGem said...

1) i think those dreaded mullets are not a climbing look but a general Spainish trend. I saw them all over Mallorca. Think it is also linked into Spainish punk music.

3) my bf was saying the exact same thing last night. esp here in the city where the dress code is corporate. they just dont know how to dress corporate and not "die" in this "heat"

4) I am just SO loving this weather - am also so much happier in my skin at the moment! I just find it SO funny the way they are finding this weather SO hot. i'm like this is normal heat - this is what I think about when i think summer! REALLY hope it lasts over the weekend!

Anonymous said...

hey you, love your posts, you have a cool personality, where in Durban did you live? I'm from Durban and it's hard to imagine living somewhere with a proper winter and having to endure that every year, sometimes I want to leave here so badly and at other times I think how can I give up this weather.

po said...

Helen: noooo you have just blown my theory here! I guess I was thinking of surfer dudes in Durban but you may have a point!

Midnite gem: apparently you are right about the hairstyles. I guess punk+climbing is a good link.

I have heard that the weather may hold out for the weekend, here is holding thumbs for you! We were scheming on coming to Portland too, but we may be too lazy cos it is real far for a day, and I want a break from camping.

Have fun!

Anon: thank you! I am from the dreaded suburb of Westville, lived there for way too long and never ever wanted to go back to Durban afterwards. I am slowly changing my mind I have to say.

I find that on the whole Durbanites die in the UK. They put on jerseys when the temperature goes below 20 degrees, so there is no hope for them/us. We need to photosynthesise.

Where abouts you from?

Anonymous said...

lol what's wrong with Westville, I'm from the Bluff lol so there! always felt a bit embarrassed telling people, but it's actually a nice place, some parts are low class and seedy but some parts are nice...
But Durban as a whole is sooooooo boring.
How old are you? I'm curious about you now coz you're from Durbz and as I said earlier, your personality is quite appealing.

LadyFi said...

Just imagine British clothes sense combined with the Mullet with Dreadlocks!

henno said...

You said "bergie" hehe. That's my favourite word. English geezers and scouzers with their shirts off. Pasty, with faded tattoos and wobbly ale-guts. It's a global phenomenon - you must have seen them in Bangkok too? Sends shivers down the spine...