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Wednesday, 8 July 2009

fly me a river


The chronicles of the saga of the sequel to the prequel of the compendium of my fly infestation continues, much to my delight.

The flies, or rather the fat lazy sits are still around. Months of abuse have done nothing to whittle down their population. I have even seen one or two of their festering offspring wriggling around in the soil, despite all the poisons I have been feeding them.

And now there is a new type of fly! How can this be? These ones are also too wise to fly and get caught in the traps, but they are super energetic, not like the sits, and they zip about at quite a rate. I shall call them zips. And they have blue wings.

Talk about X-flies.

I can only think that these must be mutant flies from mars or they have mutated since I have been feeding them poison or.

No, there is no more OR. Where in Doom's name have these monstrosities come from, with their disturbingly coloured wings?

And even worse, these ones seem to be munching my plants. The little bastards are destroying my sweet innocent babies.

Never mind that in a week's time I shall destroy the same sweet innocent babies myself, by means of a mortar and pestle and some liquid nitrogen. That is not the point. It is my duty to crush those plants to within an inch of existence and then crush some more. These stupid flies have no right to get in there first.

WHAT TO DO?

11 comments:

Helen said...

you should seriously consider investing in one of those battery-powered electric fly-swats. Not only does it kill on contact without requiring you to trails globs of fly onto whatever surface is nearest, but (I am told) the flies give a lovely popping sound as they connect!

Don't bother with Doom, it doesn't work.

Talk about x-flies :)

Louisa said...

Douse your plants in citronella oil. Allegedly it keeps flies away, although slightly annoys them would probably be a better description.

po said...

Helen: popping sound! Oh what a sweet sound that would be! I shall investigate

Louisa: hmm, good idea, but whaha I definitely want to do more than "slightly annoy" them. That seems like a very British tactic to me. Annoy them slightly until they cannot take it any more and pack for the Bahamas. I could try tickling them with feathers :)

Being Brazen said...

I flippin loathe flies....with a passion. THEY SUCK...horrid little insects...kill them any way you can...invest in some big venus fly trap plants and get some electric fly swatters :)

Helen said...

try here: http://www.gadgetshop.com/ViewAll/Shock-Bug-Zappa/EPN222331

weird that my word verification is 'mankind'... trying to tell me something?

Ches said...

Flies will make you feel like you're back home. All you need now are some Parktown Prawns!

LadyFi said...

LOL!

Embrace the flies...

Or make the X-flies ex-flies...

angel said...

Very weird!

po said...

Ches: have never seen a Parktown prawn. At least I don't think so. In Durbs we got these humungo cockroaches though.

LAdyfi: haha brilliant, ex flies! I wish though. I wish but they won't budge.

angel: I know! Where are they coming from?

henno said...

Parktown prawns, biting your bum when you're sitting on the loo. My worst nightmare. Get those flies!!!!

po said...

Henno: you what?! You got bitten on the bum by a Parktown prawn, that is like a horror story.