Monday, 27 July 2009

I'm still here

Yes I am. My blogging has gone to shite recently, both the reading bit and the bit with the writing. But I'm still here. Recently I have:

-gone trad climbing
-read about 1 million books and counting
-watched Harry Potter AND
-eaten too many chocolate digestives.

How about you?

I have had a lot of stuff swimming around in my head lately. There are of course many things that go on in my life that I will never blog about, and I am sure most people are the same. Some things are not for sharing, tell that to your moms.

I have been thinking heavy thoughts lately, and having some epiphanies and revelations; the kind that make you revisit things in your past that you prefer to keep buried, you know? Some stuff has become clearer to me for the first time since I was a kid and it is all a bit deep and dark but also a relief to come closer to understanding what for me was an impenetrable time. These thoughts are intense and strange but probably good too.

What I am trying to say is that blogging has been far from my mind recently, seeing as this is supposed to be a happy, lighthearted little place and I prefer to keep it that way. I thought I would not have the mental energy to blog at all, but somehow I have managed to have sudden moments of inspiration and keep things going, and I am glad.

When I started blogging I actually had notions of my little words having some kind of impact and changing the world or some such utter crap. I was so up my own ass. It was all about quality of writing to me. What a load of poo.

Now I really just want to keep in touch with the people who have made my life far more fun and interesting, all the blog peeps in my computer, and I think even if I stop writing here some day due to the noisy madness in my head, I will definitely not stop reading.

So for now I will keep stumbling from post to post, and see where things go. Pretty much how I do everything in life.

You guys rock and you make me smile, so please don't stop writing, yo.


Ches said...

You rock too, Po. Would be a great shame if you ever stopped writing, and reading.

Hope those heavy thoughts lighten the load soon.

6000 said...

Just be aware that some of those trads can be very high and a bit shaky. Trad climbing may appear fun at first, but often leads to injury and places a heavy demand on rescue services who are always having to rescue people from trads.
Trads are for life, not just for christmas.

P.S. You watched Harry Potter? You saddo.

Gillian said...

I won't stop reading....

Helen said...

I love your blog, please keep writing! When you have time and inpiration of course...

Not to be ignorant, but... what IS trad climbing?

Being Brazen said...

you rock too :)

Being Brazen said...

Ps -ches said that too....grrr...but its still true

Anonymous said...

Heya Shweetheart!

I'm alright... only watching Harry Potter on Tuesday so I am holding in all my Harry Potter energy and I can't wait... college etc is important but like I'm not allowing myself to get too stressed about school... so its about pacing myself at the moment.

About your recent state of existence: I am there too except that people have been asking me to see a psychiatrist because due to the patterns of my existence I may be inflicted with a chemical imbalance .... which is also dark for the blogosphere but I am figuring all that shit out. But I TOTALLY get what that's about.

I don't know... I don't get why people don't comment when you talk about dark stuff... I mean we all go through it- better us then anyone right???

But keep in touch! I love your blogs and your comments... I hope it gets better or you become a better person because of/in spite of this period of your life.

later :P

po said...

Ches: thanks man, definitely will not stop reading that is for sure! Unless the internet breaks or something but then I will probably cease to exist!

6000: WHAHA say wot? Too right trads are definitely not for chirstmas, too bloody cold! Hopefully no one shall have to rescue me from a trad cos the trad climbs in the UK are pretty short so they can just fling me to the ground :P

Gillian: thanks that is really kind.

Helen: you better not stop writing cos where would I be without you and your lizards?

Trad climbing is traditional climbing, they way it was before people started drilling holes and bolts in rocks. In SA there are a lot of bolts (sport climbing) but on places like Table Mountain and parts of the Cederberg you are not allowed to drill so you have to trad climb. Here in the UK bolts are almost unheard of and drilling rock is seen as sacrilege, so most climbing is trad climbing.

It is where you have to put your own protection into the rock, special contraptions that wedge or cam into cracks and will hold the rope and hopefully catch you if you fall.

BB: thank you, oh rocking one!

po said...

Paula: all these thoughts of mine have a lot to do with chemical imbalances! Hectic.

Seriously if you think you may have one, or someone thinks you may, it would not hurt to go find out, in fact I highly reccommend it. Of course you may be just fine! But it is really tough for people who really do have such things, really tough.

There is so much misunderstanding amongst the general public about these things. I know so many people with all different chemical imbalances and most of them iether didn't know or are too scared to make it known because people just don't get that it is not their fault, it is not them being silly or ovverreacting or whatever, it is a medical condition in the brain.

So ja, if you ever feel like talking about that kind of thing with me, you should mail me or something some time, if you want.

Maybe you could google all the different types of chemical imbalances and disorders and see if any of them fit you. You may find that other people are wrong and you are fine, and it would be crap if you walk around thinking there is something wrong when you are just fine!

Rox said...

I hear ya chick - but don't stop writing... we'll still be around when you're ready to tell us about lab accidents and crazy bergies in your neighbourhood. :-)

LadyFi said...

Keep smiling and keep on being strong.

I saw Harry Potter too - although without the chocolate digestives.

po said...

Rox: thanks, although there has been a surprising lack of dodgy characters about the place!

Ladyfi: trust me, the chocolate digestives made it a whooooole lot better!

EEbEE said...

Humans will eat anything covered in chocolate. The person that came up with Chocolate covered digestives was a genius! They totally work.

As for deep dark thoughts and ghosts from your past, deal with it and move on *slap*. (sometimes all you need is a slap in the face... the human reset button if you must. Also I don't often get opportunities to slap people so I take them without thinking twice). No offense intended, purely therapeutic.

po said...

EEbEE: my aim is to move on, don't worry. I just found something out that made me have to think about these things, and it helped me to understand for the first time ever what was really going on back then. It was good to finally kind of understand. It was a big relief. But of course it helps no one since those times are long over. But at least in my mind things are a bit clearer.