Monday, 6 July 2009


My posts seem whiny these days; a bit soulless and uninspired, but that is exactly how I feel! I am completely blahhhhed out by life, and all I want to do is go and travel.

After reading
Sarah's awesome blog, Yosh! about life in Japan, all I can think about is going there. Her enthusiasm for the whimsical quirkiness of their culture is infectious. I have been fascinated by Eastern culture, and particulary Japanese culture for years. It looks awesome, like life is one big anime movie. Ok I know this is a ridiculous misconception, but really I cannot wait to go there and discover the truth for myself. I mean, the place has origame, Naruto, Murakami and roast potato and corn KitKats. What more could you possibly want?

There is much dissatisfaction and and lack of fulfilment, and yes, unhappiness mulling around in my head right now. In theory I should do something about it but I am suffering from a dire case of inertia, coupled with a bad bout of negativity.

I have always been a very negative person and have been trying to fight it. This blog was one way of combating negativity. But I don't want to pretend to be something I am not, and I am most definitely plagued by negativity and pessimism. It is a disease, man.

At this moment in time I see no way to change the blahhhhhh(x10)ness that is my life. I can' even go travelling because my skinny green mamba* is full and I need to apply for a new one and this appears to take a minimum of 4 months!

Eeep. I am trapped in the UK for the next four months. Why does this seem a little scary? I have used up most of my leave, so it is not like I would be going anywhere anyway. But it is nice to have the option...

What I really want is something random and serendipitously wonderful to happen to me. Something to lift the blahhhhhhh(squared)ness for a while. Something that requires no effort on my part. A chance collision of particles that happens to culminate in a glorious wonderfulness for me.

Being accidentally locked in a chocolate digestive factory for example. Or getting a kitten. Or a hamster. OR 2 hamsters. Or being discovered as potential World Champion climber, despite my cunningly deceptive appearance of being crap.

Or being given a villa near the Indian Ocean by a mysterious ancient and rich benefactor who wears a wedding dress and never leaves her room, and knits socks 500m long, for a fiancé who never comes for her, and whose legs will never be long enough anyway.

Something like that. Anyone with a knitting fetish out there? To know me is to love me.

P.S. sorry if my whiny posts are irritating. I can't help it though, and I am sure there are more to come. Taking out life's frustrations on one's blog is clearly easier than actually doing anything about them, not so?

*South African passport, so named for the apparent toxicity of the thing, as no country wants it near them.


Ches said...

Know how you feel Po...

Helen said...

Green Mamba! That's awesome!

Sorry you'refeelng so blah, I'd make you some socks but my knitting isn't very good...

Hope yoou feel better!

Tay said...

Think perhaps it's this time of the year? A villa near the Indian Ocean - yes please!!!!

Anonymous said...

well my life is on the up and up but it's not really up- it's really just at the "added the hot water to jelly powder" stage and I'm figuring the cold water bit out. I wanted to say cold water first because the positive would then be represented by the hot water but I'm OCD when it comes to jelly making so therefore... cold water thus becomes the positive.

I always think the whiney moments are there so that we appreciate the good bits. But also whining helps with my digestive system being to happy makes me eat less so its better that way.

Hope u feel better; I look forward to your more fun filled blogging. Having a fleshy desert like caramel mint mousse always helps?

okay... I'm a bit stuck on food because I made such a grand roast for lunch yesterday and everyone was like "Wow Paula, I didn't know you could cook". After cooking for them for since I can remember. I am still stuffed from it and I'm drooling for more.

There was no jelly- my dad hates jelly.

Being Brazen said...

I totally know how you feel....

EEbEE said...

This version always makes me laugh.
Took me a while to find a link but here it is. Very infectious. I think he was high when this was recorded.

nothing cheers up like a stomach cramp inducing laugh session.

po said...

Ches: blaahhhhhhh(x a gajillion)ness?

Helen: not so awesome when trying to travel ;P

I don't care if your knitting is bad, want socks! Or even better, your spare villa by the sea?

Tay: Oh no competition, we are both looking for rich benefactors then?

Paula: whahaha you always crack me up! A random attack of jelly would be good right now. I have not eaten jelly in years.

BB: blahhhhhh(x infinity)ness?

EEbEE: ooh thanks, will check it out after work!

LadyFi said...

Sorry, but even your blahhhhhh is funny! Especially that bit about a mysterious relly in a wedding dress.

Hope those dreams come true!

Mellisoo said...

I think there's something in the air.

SO many peeps are doing the 'bleh' thing. I even did it last week.

It got so bad that I sat and stared at my computer screen for almost an hour without doing anything.

A small comfort: the feeling passes :)

Tamara said...

I thought the Green Mamba was the Zim passport?! Try renewing one of those (my best friend has resorted to steaming visas out of hers over a kettle).

I think your true underlying problem is a lack of hamsters. You've admitted before that you're obsessed with the furry critters, and seeing I doubt you can get hold of dassies in the UK, perhaps a dose of hamsters would boost your spirits? You could stretch out those super-long socks, badly knitted by Helen or well-knitted by the rich wedding-dress-clad benefactor, and let the hamsters run through them while you all enjoy the view fromt he villa and a roast potato and corn KitKat or two.

Problem solved.

po said...

ladyfi: what is a relly? A relative? Is that Aussie speak? You have some funky words in your repertiore?

Melisoo: ah I hope you are right. I get the feeling I need to do something to change the blaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhness, and I am not up to that right now.

Tamara: a)poor girl!
b) what a brilliant idea, instead of dealing with beaurocratic waffle, I may just try this steaming idea.

and c) you read me so well and we haven't even met. A lack of hamsters is exactly the problem, what is the point of ridiculously long socks and a good view without hamsters, seriously?

Even the kitkat shall taste sweeter :)

Did anyone ever tell you you were a genius?

angel said...

Green mamba, eh? My passport took a month- but I am in SA...
All my posts lately are a whine about my knucklehead, and I don't even post them!

po said...

Angel: I am thinking I should use the last page of my passport to come back to SA and renew it there!

But angel, your situation is so different and real and tough!