Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Tour guide Po's itinerary.

If I were to compile a list of the top things tourists can do in South Africa, it would go something like this:

1. Go shark cage diving. Hell no. Hell will sell ice lollies before you get me to play shark biscuit. There is something about those beady eyes that define pure merciless evil to me. I know sharks aren't evil, but they are a good metaphor for evil.

2. Do the world's highest bridge bungy, at Bloukrantz. Sadly no. I am too cowardly. I would need to be pushed really really hard, and would probably pee myself.

3. Tour some wine farms. Have never done this, and would love to, but BFG is highly scornful of the entertainment factor involved. As he is the only one who can drive... I kind of see his point.

4. Go to a game reserve. I could never afford to do this when I was living there so I would love to. But time does not permit in our hectic three week traverse of the country. One day, damnit.

5. Drive the garden route. Did that last time. It rocked. Except one day we encountered about 15 car guards which felt a bit like overkill.

6. Take the cable car up Table Mountain yadda yadda I think we have the general idea.

What I shall actually be doing this trip:

1. Swimming in the sea. Lots and lots. And swimming in sweat too, I surmise.

2. Climbing in the Free State.

3. counting Pep stores.

4. Hopefully, if time allows, visiting the Owl House in Nieu Bethesda. We always heard about this place at school, and I would love to go check it out, but it is a bit off the beaten track.

5. Climbing in the Western Cape, in numerous places.

6. More climbing.

7. climbing.

8. Walking up Table Mountain? Not sure if my knees, fitness and general insanity levels are up to this any more.

9. Eating sushi! There are no sushi restaurants where I live, and South African bloggers always seem to be going on about sushi, so please can you recommend somewhere in either Durban or Cape Town (or Harrismith?) for me? I am desperate for a sushi fix!

10. More climbing. There is talk of going to a super special place that has a 9 hour walk in. I fear that I may die attempting this. Perhaps it is better for all involved if I opt to lie on the beach while they do it.

11. Gain probably about 5 kgs from eating NikNaks, Simba chips, Jumping Jaks popcorn, chocolate Pronutro, rusks, astros, Top Deck, Ghost Pops, Pizza with boerewors in the crust... the list goes on. South Africa does good junk food. Unfortunately.

12. Shopping for clothes to deal with the problems associated with 11.

13. Playing spot the dassiedassiedassie!

I am sure I will come up with more activities, but it is already looking more like a boot camp workout than a holiday.

P.S please can someone alert the weather authorities that I want none of this cold front/10 degrees nonsense while I am there. I have plenty of that over here, thank you. I want to melt in a puddle, complaining loads all the while, but secretly loving it.


Tamara said...

The cold front seems to be over and the sun is shining again.

Good sushi place in Cape Town: Empire Asian Restaurant in Main Road, Seapoint. Not the prettiest places or where you go for atmosphere, but the sushi is awesome and the prices are reasonable.

I would also love to see the Owl House.

Superficialgirl said...

Lol i am leaving for cape town on the first of dec for a visit. what am i going to do? Shop, eat out, go to the beach and drink stupid amounts of red wine! yay for south africa :)

Tara said...

You're coming to visit?!?! Wheeeeeeeee!!! *excaaaaited*

Spear The Almighty said...

Weight gain = SA holiday

6000 said...

Sushi in Cape Town: Wakame in Mouille Point (great views), Wasabi in Constantia Village (great vibe).
And if you don't want to do a LONG wine route (Stellies/Paarl), do the local one - Constantia. Get a taxi there and back and you can do it on foot: Groot Constantia, Klein Constania, Buitenverwachting etc etc.
Also, get a tattoo of Julius Malema on your butt.

Being Brazen said...

hmmmm...soooooooo much nice sushi in Cape Town. I would suggest Wakame (same as 6000 suggested) and Tank in Green Point :)

po said...

Tamara: thanks for the sushi tips, now I have to persuade the BFG that you get vegetarian sushi, cos he is highly suspicious about sushi. Glad to hear you have been conversing with the weather authorities.

Superficialgirl: sounds like the world is descending upon SA this holiday season! The red wine part sounds just fabulous, will probably join you with that :)

Tara: indeed! WAnna go for a drink or a coffee or something? But beware the impact and horror of meeting me may leave you scarred for life!

Spear: I knooow. I am hoping the climbing will counteract this, but I doubt it.

6000: I already have that tattoo, you can get a viewing if you want.

Thanks for the sushi tips, maybe I will be eating sushi every night!

BB: thanks! Bloody hell, I am going to have to try them all.

Tara said...

I'd totally come out of hiding for you ;)

Gillian said...

Enjoy your hols in SA.

LadyFi said...

Three weeks in South Africa sounds like the perfect antidote to everything!

I think all that climbing will balance the eating of junk food so you won't go up in weight at all.

po said...

Tara: likewise! We could go for sushi!?

Gilian thanks, I can't wait!

LAdyfi: I hope you are right :) can't afford too many new clothes.

Dora said...

Suffering from a cold right now, I'm slowly slowly dying of jealousy.... ;)

po said...

Dora: noooo don't die, at least not of cold jealousy, I am busy lying next to my heater right now all toasty and warm, pretending it is the sun, you should try it!

po said...

I have a question to ask all the sushi fundis: do any of the restaurants you mentioned serve vegetarian sushi? The bfg is worried.

MidniteGem said...

Looks like we are catching up on each others blogs this here are my comments:
- the owl house is very cool! Random but cool. I loved it. and even though it is out of the way it is a really nice drive. (maybe some driving on SA long distance roads will ease the stress of UK driving, that is where i learned)
- wheres the 9 hour walk in?
- what date you in cape town? (feel free to email or fb that instead of posting on here!)I know that i miss you on most of the trip, but if we have a lap over day or so we could do some climbing perhaps as I def have climbing plans! even if i'm in pain
- and finally I'm also looking forward to that melting in a puddle feel !!

Tamara said...

Ahem... having just done a sushi-making course, I feel like I can authoritatively say that "of course there's vegetarian sushi" ;-) And most places serve it. And it's way cheaper than the fish sushi. Although (IMO) not as yummy. BFG would probably disagree.

I'm seriously hoping you get a horribly long transfer time in OR Tambo Airport so that some of the Joburg bloggers (like me) can at least meet you.

Luke said...

Oh my gosh! You HAVE to hit the Owl House! I've been there! It's amazing! And the town itself is really beautiful in a God-forsaken-hole-in-the-middle-of-nowhere kinda way :) Really, I loved it!

Interestingly enough, on your SA to-do list, I would do all the stuff you say you would never! Except, I'd do the wine farm too...and the garden route...and table mountain...Actually, I think the only thing I'd pass on is the game reserve. I get to do that kinda thing all the time, so unfortunately, it's lost its shine for me...

Helen said...

PLEASE go to the owl house! I'm dying to go there and if you go I can do the whole vicarious living thing!

And after all that swimming and climbing I think you'll be OK for number 11 (although you left off peppermint crisp, sies!).

And the sun seems to be behaving (in this part of the country at least!

Welcome (almost) home!

po said...

midnitegem: Wow, it seems loads of people have been to the Owlhouse! I am 90 percent sure I can persuade the BFG to drive there. Here is hoping.

The 9 hour place is Milner. Do you know of it? IT has a kind of legendary status amongst my friends and I really want to go there. But it would be soooo embarrasing if I could not make the walk in and we had to turn back. It has happened to my firend before. I don't want to be the one they turn back for :(

I am not sure what date I will be in Cape Town yet cos I am still working out our itinerary, but will message you!

Tamara: thank you! We had an experience one time here when the only veggie stuff was these battered veggies that were more UK cuisine than Japanese. So he is now averse to sushi even though sushi is only rice and seaweed really.

Luke: so you would swim with the sharkies? Not surprising considering you are a zoologist. I am such a woessy at heart. Every time I see people doing the bungy I consider... and then walk away.

Helen: strangely I was never that mad about peppermint crisp, but now.... it is sounding bloody good.

Owl House has my name on it. I hope. With a town with a name as cool as Nieu Bethesda, it has to be investigated.

Beelah said...

Counting pep stores - makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and holiday-ish

SheBee said...

simply fish in florida rd durban is a must try. I learned to eat sushi there.

get the vegetable california something rolls. yum.

so not jealous of you having to climb everywhere, though. ew.