Byegones

You may be wondering why I put a picture of a girl's tattooed torso on my blog. That is a very pertinent question. It happened to be the only picture that was saved on the computer I am using right now. So, er, enjoy.

Miss Shebee, who I think is the blogging world's best cataloguer of life, posted her resolutions from last year and if they actually worked out this year. I was interested to know what the hell I thought this year should be all about, and I love these self-absorbed posts, so here is what I wrote last year:

1) if my body allows it, try and do some form of exercise, hopefully climbing (Achieved! This year I have been in pain all year but thanks to my chiropractor, my back at least tries to stick to the correct position, most of the time. The capoeira career is over though. And we even bought the instruments. Sigh. Byegones).

2) eat fewer chocolate digestives. Eat more of the chocolate toffee ones. They are better. (Huge fail. I ate plenty of all kinds. Oops. I'm pretty sure I ate fewer than last year though, unemployment leads to cookie overdosage!)

3) do not study. Try and get a life instead. (Did not study for the first time since 2005. Did not get life instead. One out of two. Not sure I should be proud of this though, cos what it really means is that I became incredibly lazy.)

4) read more books and fewer blogs (achieved. I read more because I didn't study.)

5) keep blogging (achieved. As to the quality, well... perhaps my blog has become more a kwality blog than a quality one. Byegones.)

6) try and write stuff. What stuff is, is vague as yet. (achieved! I just wrote this sentence, innit? I did join a poetry class, but I didn't really write anything on my own initiative. Bad bad seamonkey. Byegones.)

7) Moan 2% less about English weather than I did last year. (Achieved! The weather was very mild these last two months, so words such as "it is surprisingly warm" and "my hands are not acheing" have slipped through my lips, as well as the usual "it's coldcooooold. Ooh it's cold. Hey, it's cold" every two minutes. Score!)

8) Do lots of handstands. (achieved but not nearly as many as I should have. Am still yet to do one in my current lab. This must be rectified asap.)

9) Try and be a nicer, kinder, better, more successful, more proactive, more confident, more positive person. (In every way FAILED.)

10) When I fail miserably at achieving number 9 - do not beat myself up too much about it. At least I have a nice personality ( Achieved. Byegones).

11) and finally: try and unite some of my nice personalities into one. It is a bit crowded in here with all the voices talking at once. I aim for 3 personalities by the end of next year. Making decisions is too confusing with any more than that. (failed. It is still as noisy in this head as ever).

As to 2010, by the end of the year I shall:

1) learn to play the viola

2) try to figure out exactly what a viola is

3) learn to sing opera

4) compete in an iron man, all my friends are doing it

5) Read James Joyce's Ulysses and understand it

6) learn all of Shakespeare's sonnets by heart

7) run naked in Times Square

Ok ok seriously my aims for 2010 are:

1) keep climbing, ie not get so flipping injured that I cannot move any more. Try to run more.

2) stop being one of those people who goes through life in survival mode. What exactly is it that I am surviving? I am sure there is more to life than working, eating and sleeping.

3) On the subject of survival, survive the midlife crisis that will definitely hit when I turn 30. It will hit, I know it will. I hope nothing too dramatic happens. Eep.

4) Try to go to China! My sister is there, the BFG's parents are moving there.

5) start studying again? Not sure if I can muster the discipline to go back, but I cannot stand the thought of having half a degree hanging over my head. Or maybe study a language instead. I am thinking Zulu, cos it is already in my brain from school and my Dad can speak it and help me a bit. A half learned language is like a plague in my head, bits of it leak out all the time but I cannot complete sentences. I have a similar problem with French.

6) go for therapy? Will I have the time, the money, the courage? We shall see.

7) Hopefully get a driver's license. Despite the fact that this breaks several laws of physics.

8) Keep writing. My poetry course found something in me that I should be able to access on my own, without a teacher whipping my ass. Self motivation can be done. I just have to activate it.

9) Have more fun. I am too serious and too lazy. Fun is hard work, but it is worth it.

10) try to plan for the future. This is usually impossible for me but considering I will be coming to the end of a work contract and a visa, it needs to be done.

11) run naked in Times Square.

And finally:

12) adopt the attitude of "Byegones". Who knew Ally Mcbeal could be the source of all wisdom? What is done is done and boring. I don't believe in having no regrets, but I do believe in saving those regrets for the really shitty things I have done. No point in getting upset over the minor shit. Move along please!