The other day I wrote that the universe was kicking me in the nads. I take it back. I have gained some perspective. Various people I know are going through private hells right now. Their lives are at that "being ripped apart" stage. And I was feeling sorry for myself over what was essentially a timetable clash.
I can be so super-self absorbed sometimes it is not even funny. We all have times when the world truly seems to collapse around us. This is not one of those times for me. I should be making the most of that, so when it does fall down, I have some good times to look back on.
I do find it hard to separate myself from other people's problems though. How do I go about enjoying myself when other people are in hell? I feel too guilty. I know it makes no sense, I may not even be near the person, so me feeling bad and stalled by their problems does not help them in one tiny way. But I almost feel like I don't own my own life, that I consist of other people's opinions and expectations of me. And if someone feels anguish, I feel like I should be feeling it too. It is all a bit confusing.
And I seem to have changed the topic to "me" again. I am good at that. Perhaps if I learn to "own" myself, then I won't be so self absorbed?
Sometimes I think I need therapy because I can't teach myself this kind of thing. But don't we all?
Sometimes I think I need therapy because I can't teach myself this kind of thing. But don't we all?
