It has been just over 3 weeks since Squirmy (also known to us as Small Fry) was born. Things have been so hectic. I have not had time to look at the computer. I want so desperately though to record everything that has happened so I am going to make an effort to write it all down. It feels so different to the rest of my life, so worth recording.
He was born 28th December, his actual due date, which is very unusual, at 5.20am. 3.87kg and 54cm. He was (is) big. Not chubby, but long. That is why he weighs so much, he is a really tall baby. This is really odd because both G and I are short, G particularly so. We will see what being a tall baby means for his future. He also has a head of black hair and came out dark brown (due to jaundice) so that everyone looked at me suspiciously and called him an Indian baby. He is in my unbiased opinion pretty adorable, but he has lost his tan now that the jaundice is gone.
We had quite a rough start in my opinion, well, rougher than I expected. I know many people with much rougher starts, after all he did not need to go to NICU and I did not need a C-section. Nevertheless I definitely need some time to get over what happened, even though it is really not that bad. I am a bit sensitive to things relating to my body. Due to a few circumstances his birth was much harder than I expected and did not go at all how I thought it would. If I think about it now I may have chosen a C-section after all - at least when it comes to healing you know exactly what to expect! I am a real wuss that way. On the plus side most of the actual labour was bearable even though I had back labour, and I feel that I could do that part again (just don't talk to me about the pushing). G was the most amazing birth partner ever. We laboured alone together at home from about 10am on the 27th (although my labour started at about 7am but very minor contractions) until 11pm before we left for the hospital (I was already 8cm when we arrived!!) and it was actually about as wonderful as you could hope for and that part was much much better than I imagined it could be. I never imagined he would be quite that wonderful. He really is amazing.
I also cannot imagine anything coming out of that region ever, ever again, so Squirmy may be an only kidlet. Unless adoption. Or C-section. We will see. Everyone says I will change my mind. I have my doubts. My midwives acknowledged that I had a really rough labour and said I will never have such a tough labour again. Um, but how the heck do they know that? It could happen again! Maybe I just make long, big babies that cannot come out!
Let's not mention my stomach. Squirmy was so long that my stomach was enormous and all the extra skin and stretch marks are pretty hideous. As much as I want to do a million situps (not that I have the time) I need to wait for my stomach muscles to heal. My friends having babies now do not look like me. Their babies are short and chubby and their tummies are flat already. This is also hard for me but luckily I am so tired that I don't have much time to focus on the wreckage of my body. On the flip side, I have no more agonising hip pain can sleep on my bac, and that general uncomfy pregnant state is gone. If I could just heal up so that I can walk properly then my body will be free again! Except for the boobies. Those things no longer belong to me.
I want very much to write his birth story, warts and all, and memories of the first chaotic weeks, not that the current weeks are not chaotic. For now I just have to figure out how to get him to go back to sleep!
He was born 28th December, his actual due date, which is very unusual, at 5.20am. 3.87kg and 54cm. He was (is) big. Not chubby, but long. That is why he weighs so much, he is a really tall baby. This is really odd because both G and I are short, G particularly so. We will see what being a tall baby means for his future. He also has a head of black hair and came out dark brown (due to jaundice) so that everyone looked at me suspiciously and called him an Indian baby. He is in my unbiased opinion pretty adorable, but he has lost his tan now that the jaundice is gone.
We had quite a rough start in my opinion, well, rougher than I expected. I know many people with much rougher starts, after all he did not need to go to NICU and I did not need a C-section. Nevertheless I definitely need some time to get over what happened, even though it is really not that bad. I am a bit sensitive to things relating to my body. Due to a few circumstances his birth was much harder than I expected and did not go at all how I thought it would. If I think about it now I may have chosen a C-section after all - at least when it comes to healing you know exactly what to expect! I am a real wuss that way. On the plus side most of the actual labour was bearable even though I had back labour, and I feel that I could do that part again (just don't talk to me about the pushing). G was the most amazing birth partner ever. We laboured alone together at home from about 10am on the 27th (although my labour started at about 7am but very minor contractions) until 11pm before we left for the hospital (I was already 8cm when we arrived!!) and it was actually about as wonderful as you could hope for and that part was much much better than I imagined it could be. I never imagined he would be quite that wonderful. He really is amazing.
I also cannot imagine anything coming out of that region ever, ever again, so Squirmy may be an only kidlet. Unless adoption. Or C-section. We will see. Everyone says I will change my mind. I have my doubts. My midwives acknowledged that I had a really rough labour and said I will never have such a tough labour again. Um, but how the heck do they know that? It could happen again! Maybe I just make long, big babies that cannot come out!
Let's not mention my stomach. Squirmy was so long that my stomach was enormous and all the extra skin and stretch marks are pretty hideous. As much as I want to do a million situps (not that I have the time) I need to wait for my stomach muscles to heal. My friends having babies now do not look like me. Their babies are short and chubby and their tummies are flat already. This is also hard for me but luckily I am so tired that I don't have much time to focus on the wreckage of my body. On the flip side, I have no more agonising hip pain can sleep on my bac, and that general uncomfy pregnant state is gone. If I could just heal up so that I can walk properly then my body will be free again! Except for the boobies. Those things no longer belong to me.
I want very much to write his birth story, warts and all, and memories of the first chaotic weeks, not that the current weeks are not chaotic. For now I just have to figure out how to get him to go back to sleep!
2 comments:
Congratulations!
Hardly anyone's baby ever arrives in the way they planned. I guess if you end up with a healthy baby at the end of it, it went well?
Can't wait to hear the rest of your story!
Thanks Louisa! I ended up needing an episiotomy which is rarely done these days. My delivering midwife had not needed to do one in a year and a half! I know there weas a time when they were routine but I was reallynotexpecting to be one of the few who needed one nowadays. It was necessary but very unexpected for me.
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