"Skaw me a smoke maw china" *

I think my claim to being a 90's-rock-loving musical dinosaur has finally crumbled to dust. I am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing or just a thing. Currently my ipod is filled basically with Bollywood jingles.

Yes, I am rocking out to "Jai Ho" from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack, and not that pseudo crappy Pussy Cat Dolls version. Pah. I mean the real one from the movie, the Oscar-winning Hindi version (with a hint of Spanish). Bailar bailar.

I admit this music is not my usual fare, but I loved the movie and ever since I saw it I have mysteriously started enjoying this song and others from the soundtrack.

So what did people think of the movie? I am interested to know. I loved it. I thought it was different and interesting and beautifully shot and entertaining in a way that few movies are these days. And I am not talking about what Hollywood movies define as "entertainment".

I have seen very few Hollywood films in the last few years that I have enjoyed. BFG and I love movies but we always end up resorting to foreign films because we just aren't into the Hollywood formulaic vibe at all. But that's just us.

I have heard two main areas of criticism aimed at Slumdog Millionaire, both mostly by Indian people.

The first I do not agree with. This is the criticism that the movie did not do enough to raise social awareness of the terrible poverty in Mumbai slums. I studied a tiny bit of aesthetic theory, and when it comes to this argument I am very old fashioned.

Films are art. They are there to engage our imaginations, to entertain us, to be beautiful, and all of those other vague things that art does, that no one can really define. To me a really good film is beautiful, it feels whole and complete at the end, it is unusual and unpretentious.

If you set out to make a film to try and change the world, chances are you are going to make a crap film. A crap film will not help your cause. If you don't hook the audience so that they are utterly absorbed into your story, then they will come away with nothing and do nothing to help your cause.

I really feel that if you want to bring about social change, you should make a documentary. Of course some feature films do bring about social awareness, but this should be a side effect. I feel that if it is the main purpose then in most (but not all) cases the artistry will be lost, and with it a receptive audience.

Ever since the film has been out, the child actors, all of whom live in real Mumbai slums, have been in the English newspapers roughly every week. Two of the poor kids have had their houses flattened by Indian policemen. Danny Boyle, the director of the film, set up a fund to help them find new places to live.

I promise you that before the film, kids in Mumbai slums featured in the daily newspapers roughly never. I am not saying that the movie brought about some amazing miracle, but the awareness in England is definitely greater than before.

But this movie was intended to entertain us, that motive is clear. It is a far-fetched, imaginitive love story,like all good love stories are.

The second criticism is easier for me to accept, although I really need the opinions of Indian people here.

I have heard complaints that the movie is not nearly realistic enough, in fact it is far-fetched to the point of ridiculous. I cannot comment because I am not Indian and know nothing of daily life in India, but I must admit it was stretching my powers of belief when the kids miraculously learned English about a third of the way through the film, and then suddenly everything, including TV shows were in English.

It is a pity that the film was in English at all, it should have been entirely in Hindi. The English of course was to pander to us Westeners who are apparently too lazy to read. Personally I prefer watching a movie in the relevant language with subtitles any day.

For me the worst kind of film is that Hollywood film with the American star speaking in English with some ridiculous foreign accent, because I cannot even pretend to pay any attention to the story, I am too busy cringing at the abomination that is the accent. I have always had a thing about accents. I notice them before anything else.

Brad Pitt in "7 years in Tibet" is a good example. Lawd but that was painful, and I love Brad Pitt. Get a freaking Austrian if the movie is about an Austrian, and let the guy speak German instead of heavily accented English. Sorry Brad, but your rugged looks did nothing to rescue you in that one.

Sadly I know that an authentic Austrian movie would sell a fraction of what Brad Pitt sounding like a wally would sell.

But I for one will never grace a cinema with a movie featuring any Hollywoodised "Souff Effriken" EVER again. There is just no point. I cannot watch the actual movie. It can be a laugh, or sometimes it just makes me want to cry. But in no way am I able to follow the storyline.

Yes, the director of Slumdog is British, but at least Slumdog has authentic Indian people from actual India (except ironically for the main character, played by Dev Patel, who is English), and when they speak English, at least their accents are real. We have to give the movie credit for that level of authenticity.

But I don't know, perhaps for an Indian person, watching Slumdog Millionaire was like my experience of watching Blood Diamond.

Any Indian person out there? Or else, any opinionated person out there? I would love to know some opinions other than mine.

Personally I have watched the film twice, will happily watch it again, and as an aside,

JAI HO to you.

When in doubt, Jai some ho's. And then everything will be Jai Ho. Hohoho. Jai.

*I dunno. Too much for me to explain. Ask Leo.