I think I wrote somewhere, sometime (not going to link to it because I am ashamed) that I was trying to cut down on coffee because of health reasons blah blah.
Well I am back to drinking a million cups of coffee a day. Because it actually lifts my mood. I don't know about scientific data proving that caffeine is an antidepressant but it is for me, probably because I'm an addict. If it gets me through this winter that's fine, I just hope my liver holds out.
I've realised that I am no longer able to distinguish when things are going well or badly at work. I think I reached a threshold of despair, and now I feel bad all the time, even though things are ok. I am miserable at work at the moment, and this extends to home where I just sleep and eat, and... sleep.
But not to worry, because this is all clearly down to SAD and if I hang in there and don't scream or throw something or say what's on my mind to anyone at work, then I will survive and winter will be over and I won't go insane.
And I even had an extra dose of sun over January!
Oh dear. When does it get warm here again? I remember people always talk about the good week in April. Bring on the good week in bloody April.
I have scientifically calculated that Northern European winters are bad for my health (sharp hey) so we are planning to move to South Africa round the end of next year.
I hope you realise how scared I feel writing that down in my blog. I never announce plans in my life ever, because things go wrong, and people change their minds, and things don't work out, and things get delayed, and things are not meant to be. But we are hoping to move back next year, or sometime. I am so superstitious that writing it makes me feel like I have jinxed it.
Oh ja, p.s. don't tell my Dad. My Dad's tactic of persuading me not to go back to South Africa drives me insane and involves him shouting the word "Australia" to me at random intervals. Oh Daddy, you never learned did you; if you want your stubborn daughter to do something you must tell her to do the opposite. There is now no way in hell I will ever move to Australia, just to go against my Dad.
Yes I am a brat.
Right now I don't care what anyone says about South Africa.
- Malema wants to nationalise everything -> don't care
- Malema is annoying -> don't care
- The ANCYL declares a state of war every time someone looks at them -> don't care
- SA is crime ridden -> don't care
- Zuma wants to shag everything and have a million babies -> don't care
- I spent my whole life in South Africa in financial difficulty -> don't care
- people keep saying farming is doomed and SA will become Zim etc etc -> don't care
- SA doesn't have iTunes or cheap and easy internet -> eeep I may care about this
- Steve Hofmeyer lives in SA -> don't care
These are the reasons people give for not going back, amongst others. Well, I DON'T CARE!
I do care obviously, I care very much, but I'm going home damnit. I want to care there rather than here.
There must be reasons for me wanting to move back other than weather, but ... well, the weather is a major factor. Yup, how lame is that? And it's time for a change, BFG and I are stagnating.
Never underestimate the power of irrationality, frivolity and whim when it comes to making huge life decisions, that is my advice for the day.